This time, I am a different woman,
at a different time, with a baby,
Maybe 18 months to three years or so.
I am traveling on vacation
With the father of my baby.
The man I love.
We are in a ski chalet,
On our way to the next stop Of our vacation.
He is out at the moment,
While I stayed in the chalet Watching our child.
When suddenly, there was a loud sound,
And a flurry of snow outside the windows.
The ceiling of the chalet could be seen to buckle in
In waves, from the weight of the avalanche’s snow.
People were screaming
I was warning two others
( I seen what would soon happen to them,
if they did not move.)
to get out of there area.
They did; they ran to the nearest doorway
As the chalet finally gave way to the snow.
Then it neared me, as I stood in another doorway,
And watched it roll around me.
With relief, I realized I had escaped it.
But then I suddenly realized
That I could not find my baby.
She had been close by on the floor,
Playing with my keys,
When the avalanche happened.
Frantically I searched, and to my great relief,
Found that someone had reached down to scoop her up
On their way to a shelter.
(Under a heavy desk of some sort.)
I thanked them profusely.
Just then my love returns,
And asks me what happened,
But didn’t think too much about it,
For he claimed we were already late,
For he had secured tickets for the next part of our trip,
And the plane (train?) left in just a few moments.
Just then, I seen the couple who had saved my child,
Trying desperately to re-close their suitcase, but with no luck.
I knew the kind of suitcase they used,
And could tell they had not yet opened up the expansion part of it.
(I do not think they knew yet about it.)
So I told my man ‘just a minute’,
& quickly helped this couple close their case.
AS I did, this man, the man that I love,
Started swearing and cussing at me under his breath,
clearly not caring of what I was doing or why,
and it was then that I realized,
that I needed to go home and pray.
When I told this to the man,
He reacted with greater anger and disgust with me.
I started to cry, which really made him angry.
I knew he thought me a ridiculous female,
(Did he say so?,)
To which I told him I was entitled to it this time,
For I had just gone through an avalanche,
And almost lost our child, all in the same day.
And now this? (His not caring.)
I reminded him how it bothers me when he uses foul language,
But he shrugs it off, uncaring.
No matter what he says to me to get me to go with him,
(Don’t be so foolish! I was just a swear word!
You’re crazy! You’re going to leave over just a few swear words?
Ridiculous!) But I knew I had to.
I knew it would only get worse, if I went with him.
I needed to go pray for us, before doing anything else.
He had already gathered our baggage
and had loaded them on board for the trip
So I told him not to worry about it,
And that all I needed was my money (credit cards,) and medicine.
So I went to say goodbye to the child,
And realized that the man did not want
to be saddled down with our baby,
So I explained to my little one,
that we were going home without daddy.
Our baby cried some, missing his father,
But really wanted to remain with me.
So I held him and rocked him,
trying to comfort him and get him to rest.
I kept whispering to my baby,
“I’m so sorry, little one, so very sorry,”
As I did so, the other couple asked me about us,
Why I was sorry,
and why I had a child out of marriage with this man.
I told them I was sorry that my child was born into this mess,
To a man who obviously did not want his own child.
I told them then, that several specialists had told me
I could not have any children,
So I had not thought of using any birth control
And had simply found myself very attracted to this man.
They seemed to understand.
(They then suggested I see another doctor,
to make sure if I could or could not have any more.
I realized they were right.)
As I waited to go home,
I suddenly realized that I did not have to go home to pray,
And that I could find a local church in the area,
And begin praying there, as I waited.
So I went and found one.
I entered it, (seemingly alone,)
And fell to the floor on my knees,
Crying out to Jesus to help me and guide me.
I asked Him what to do next, and He answered me.
I continued talking to Him, until I was at peace,
and He told me to go. I thanked Him,
and as I turned to leave,
Another couple came up to me,
(they had heard me praying to this God,)
and asked me about my relationship with Jesus,
(I sensed they were tourists there
just to see the inside of the church,)
and I told them that yes,
I do hear the voice of my God in my head,
because I had given my life over to Him,
and now lived to serve him,
so of course He would want to let me know
what I should do next.
This seemed to fascinate these people.
I sensed that because they had overheard my prayers,
they would come to know Him one day as well.
I returned to the depot,
And then woke up from my dream.
* * * *