I was getting ready to go into the doctor’s again
For blood work to be done,
When I kept feeling God tell me to bring my bible along with me.
“My bible?!? Why?”
“I want you to read it while you’re waiting in the waiting room.”
I thought of the other book that I had planned to bring,
But He told me no. So I didn’t.
I was about to forget to bring it, but God reminded me.
So I went to go get it.
As I reached for the Geneva one, God told me no.
“I want you to bring your red-covered one.”
“But Lord! They’re going to think I’m one of those
Weirdo bible-thumping Christians!
Anyone will be able to tell that it’s a bible!”
“Maybe I want them to see this.
Maybe some one else needs to be reminded
That even my younger generation holds believers in Me.”
So I brought it with me, wondering if this too,
Is just another trick my imagination is playing on me,
And that it’s really NOT my God telling me to do this.
When I get there, there are only two other people in the waiting room.
So, I sit down to wait.
I ask the voice within, what I am to read.
James came to mind, as that is my husband’s favorite chapter to read.
And so I began reading.
I was going to remove my sunglasses,
But I could feel the Lord tell me no,
So I left them on. (I had no make up on underneath.)
Soon after, an older woman walks in,
And to my surprise she sits down next to me.
(There were many other chairs that she could have sat on.)
Moments later, she asks me out of the blue,
“What does the word ‘infidel’ mean?”
I couldn’t help it;
I looked at her like ‘huh?!?’
“I see you reading your bible,”
She said, motioning to my book,
“I was wondering if you could tell me,
What the word infidel means.
You know; where it says in the bible
That a man who does not take care of his family
Is worse than an infidel.”
“Oh, that’s painful!,” I whispered.
I remembered well, being in that space.
“I’m not sure,” I replied tentatively.
“I can see if it’s here in the back of my bible.”
But it wasn’t there.
“I think it means ‘unbeliever’.
At least I know that’s the Muslim definition of the word.”
Then she started telling me about her husband,
Who has left her, for the world of sex & pornography.
So I told her a little about my husband,
And how we too, went through the problems common to addictions,
And I even told her about one of my older sons,
And his struggle with the demons of pornography.
All during this time, others were coming into the waiting room,
Some of whom seemed to listen to our conversation
I tried to encourage her to keep praying for him,
Especially P.U.S.H. prayer, (praying until something happens,)
As that is what has helped me with my husband.
I told her, “Just think of when he suddenly comes to his senses,
and realizes just what a beautiful woman he’s lost!
You don’t just give up 47 years of marriage
Without any regrets! There’s HISTORY there!
Many GOOD times that were shared!
That matters! It counts for quite a bit!”
“He used to listen,” she responded to me,
“to the televangelist right along with me.
He used to call himself a Christian. But now…
Well,…I’m not so certain if God really wants me
To keep praying for him and our marriage.
After all, the bible does say that we are to escape from evil.
Maybe God doesn’t want me to stay married to him!”
My heart just ACHED for her, hearing this!!
But I shook my head in disagreement.
“I KNOW that God does not like divorce!”
Then she seemed to remember the piece of scripture that claims this.
“Ah yes, it is only because of man’s heart being hard, that God o.k.’s it.”
Just then, the nurse calls for me.
So I said goodbye to her, and went in.
And I cried all the way through having my blood drawn.
Not because of the pain from the needle,
But because of the pain leaching from this woman’s heart.
When I walked back out there, a part of me was afraid
That she would still be there.
What would I say to her?
What COULD I say to her to help ease her pain?
Sure enough, she was still waiting out there in the waiting room.
Along with many of the others who had been avidly listening in
To our exchange.
“OH LORD!”, I screamed in my mind, “WHAT DO I SAY?!”
“Peace, little one. I will give you the words to say…”
And sure enough, He did.
Her eyes snagged mine, the moment I stepped out into the waiting room,
So I knew that she still wanted to talk.
So I walked over to her, and as I stood before her,
She told me more of her problem.
“It’s not just him,” she confides to me, “It’s me, too. I get so angry at him!
I try to talk to him, but he just won’t listen!”
I nod in understanding.
“My husband wouldn’t listen to me either.
The only thing that would work, is prayer.”
“I get so angry,” she continues, “that I loose control.”
I told her that Al-Anon helped me deal with my anger issues.
But I sensed she did not want to hear more about that.
I did not push that avenue, for I had just recently learned
That it was not wholly Christian.
I sensed that there must be another piece to the puzzle,
(something else believers can do to fight such issues,)
But it was one I did not have yet, so I remained silent.
I then sensed that our time together was coming to a close,
So I asked her, if I could have the first name of her husband,
So I could pray for him.
She asked me what I had just said, and I forced myself to repeat it.
(I’m not usually one to ask for names, but I do know now,
that it makes the prayers more effective.)
She told me, and then she said she would pray for my son, too.
The nurse then came in, and called for her.
(So I now have her first name to use in prayer as well.)
I wrote them down on a little sticky note, and stuck it in my bible.
Then unseeing, I walked out to my car,
And once in it, Proceeded to bawl my eyes out.
Here I am,
DOUBTING MY GOD,
Wondering if he even exists,
And here he shows me
WITHOUT A SHADOW OF DOUBT,
That He doesn’t just exist,
HE STILL LIVES!
And even more, that I, sick as I am,
Can still be of use to Him!
I still wonder how that woman is doing,
If her husband has returned back home
And has been set free from the addiction.
I wish I could talk to her now to let her know
What that missing piece of the puzzle is,
For I am learning about the other tool that has been given to all believers
To fight off such sin problems and issues;
The quoting of scriptures and casting out demons in His name!
I wish I could thank that woman for her prayers,
And let her know of a victory in answered prayer,
For my son with the addiction problem
Gave his life over to Christ one evening, many months later,
(After watching the movie entitled: “Fireproof”,)
And has since been set free from that demon of addiction!
PRAISE BE TO OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST!!!
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