A Dream… (Journal entry recorded in my Bible, from 1995)
I am trying to reach heaven, but the pathway, the gate, is too narrow. I could not get through. I thought I’d be o.k., but I was not.
As I stood there at the gate, I seen many, many babies.
There were those that were full of joy and life, kicking, cooing, gurgling, with their energy giving off a form of light that seemed to glow from within them.
But many of the babies had wasted away and died. Their forms were still and lifeless, their skin held a dull almost grey color to it, and their eyes were empty, starring off into nothing. You could guess as to how long they had been dead, by the amount of decay that had already taken place in their bodies. There was no light whatsoever coming from them any more.
Some were still in different stages of dying. I could see the ones that were undecided; they looked as if they were dead, but there was hope that shone out from around them. Some were crying out for help, their cries piercing my heart from their shrill intensity of need. I longed to reach out to hold them and help them, but I knew I could not, for I sensed they were in a different dimension from mine.
I cried and cried for them, as I watched them float by. I asked not to be one of those that did not make it. I thought of my children, and cried more. I begged God not to have me or my family be amongst those that did not make it. I asked Him how not to be one of them. I asked Him how I could get through the narrow pathway.
I then sensed that each person was different; they had to give up of themselves, their greatest thing they loved, in order to steer through it. You needed the help of those who had gone before you. Without them you lost your knowledge of how to get through the pathway to heaven, and you could no longer see the forces of darkness in your way. These people looked and sounded normal, but when you were on the right path, you seen through them, and this bothers them, so they nag and attack you to pull you off the path. Once you are off this path, you must submit to the darkness.
I seen my littlest child look to me in her innocence, and she did not see the distinction between the two realities/dimensions. To her, (for her,) they were one, and the dark forces could not touch her. But SOON she looked to me, watched me, my facial expressions, to see if she should feel fear or panic, and in this way lost her natural born ability to “follow the path.” I tried to be like her, but could not be.
I then woke up from the dream.
What is the greatest thing I loved in this world? My free time; my alone time. Time, when I can do what I want, and feed my will as I wish. My job has stopped a large portion of this time, yet the remaining time left is needed, the lord is asking for it, and in my sin, I’m hedging against it. I pray the Lord will give me His heart, to want to seek His Will, instead of mine…
Note: I believe that ‘those that had gone before’, were those people from the Bible, and the believers that have carried the faith upon the earth from generation to generation. The ‘natural born ability to “follow the path”‘, refers to the innocence that is within each newborn child. (They are too young to understand evil, or recognize it for what it is at that age.)
Matthew 7:13-14, 21, 7-8 KJV
Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat:
Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.
Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.