(This was given to me many months after the dream one of my kids had that I’ve shared in my previous post. See https://dreamsofdunamis.wordpress.com/2013/01/03/what-about-the-children/)
I was a mother of a teenage girl, who was maybe fourteen or fifteen years old.
She looked like Amy Farafouler from the TV show called “The Big Bang”. But she wasn’t actually as smart,
She just acted like she was.
She had been sent home from school,
Along with all the others,
To go live with her family full time,
As the schools themselves had closed up,
Because they no longer had the funding and the supplies to keep them all open.
Had been mostly brought up in the public school system,
(having spent her weekly days there,)
And was loyal to the system and the government, as taught by her teachers, and supported by her peers.
But now, suddenly, she was home with me.
I was still expected, somehow,
To be able to suddenly change where her loyalties lay,
And transfer that dependency on me.
But it didn’t work.
I was expected by the government,
To simply continue on the best that I could,
In continuing her devotion to the Government.
I was given full responsibility for her and her behavior,
But had no power to enforce anything.
Spanking of any form was outlawed,
And the only thing I had to help, perhaps,
To cause her to obey me,
Was the possible withholding of treats or presents.
(But even that was starting to be frowned upon by the government.)
We were told to go to a meeting of some kind,
And it reminded me of a church building and meeting,
For there were benches to sit on,
And those there in the audience, had to remain silent, and listen to the speaker talk.
Economic punishments were handed out
To those parents who had kids that interrupted the talks.
Mine just had to be one of the worst offenders in our little area.
She would whisper and talk to her friends sitting next to her,
And even laugh out loud, without any regard to the speaker,
Or others around her. She knew this would shame me.
I tried to go over and whisper to her to be quiet,
But she would then respond to me loudly,
Claiming that I was trying to talk to her about unimportant things unrelated to the service, and that “now was not the time.”
I was so mad at her, that I wanted to slap her, but knew I could not.
I threatened her, by telling her that I would withhold the treat I had set aside for her and give it to her younger brother instead, but she ignored me.
She kept on being loud and interrupting the service,
So I tried again to have her be silent,
By repeating my admonition.
She tried to get up, as if she was going to move away from me to sit farter away, but I held on to her tightly by the arm.
She yanked her arm from my grip,
But sat back down in her seat.
She then began to talk even louder to her friend next to her,
Laughing at something her friend had said,
And I reached behind her neck and grabbed a few hairs to hold on to, as she again struggled to get away from me.
Loosing a few strands of hair did nothing to stop her.
After the service,
As we piled up into my car to go back home,
I could hear my daughter talking to her friends
About how bad of a mother I was,
And if she should go ahead and make up a situation about me and her,
and then file a report on me with the authorities.
I sighed, and suddenly, as we were all driving home,
I seen my future with my daughter stretch out before me.
I’d be living in fear of my daughter, and of what she might do next to get at me.
It was quite unpleasant.
But what could I do?
I sighed again,
And began to count the days
Till she would move out on her own…
I then woke up.
* * * *