Find Him Next To Me

Another dream…

In this dream,
I was a young, beautiful woman.
I knew I was beautiful, for everyone kept telling me so.
I was one of those rare ones, who had only needed the addition of braces at age twelve, to become quite beautiful.
No other addition to my body was needed.
I had full, slightly wavy dark hair, down to my waist,
And was often told that I looked like Kim Kardashian.

I was in a big house, with a big party going on, with many beautiful people in attendance that I knew.

These were the ones that everyone else wanted to be,
The Hollywood types with lots of money and style.

People had come to this party, looking for their pleasures.

I was looking for my boyfriend.

I was looking forward to being with him again, for I had been away from him for three long days on business,
And missed his touch and companionship.
I was living with him,
In the hopes that he was ‘The One’
That would be faithful to me.

But as I searched for him through out all the bedrooms of this mansion, I discovered him in one, in bed with another man.

I Cried out to him,
“You just couldn’t wait a weekend for me to return, could you? What happened? I know it isn’t because I didn’t pleasure you enough!”

The guy tried to defend himself to me,
Denying to me that he was even having relations with the man, but that was of no use, for I had caught them in the act itself.

So I went out into main room, thoroughly disgusted with what I had just seen.

Others were there, again seeking their pleasures, with drugs of all kinds. And a few others that were there were still working.

But I realized that we were all there in this house,
Taking shelter from some kind of outside destruction that was expected to reign down upon the people.

One woman was there taking care of her ward,(doing her job) and was still going by her strictly scripted curriculum, in what to do next for her student. She had gone into the fridge and made some kind of food, (as it had fit into the curriculum,) but they had not eaten it all and had told no one else about it, and instead they had left it out to spoil. I found it, and berated them for it. (Couldn’t they have shared it with the others? What a waste!)

Just then a good friend of mine came into the room, and she asked me why I was not with my boyfriend. I told her we had just broken up. I told her that this did not mean that I was going to give up in my search for the right one. Indeed, I was still even more determined to find him.

Her eyes alighted, and she told me she had not given up either. She reached out to me and then tried to lay down in my lap. Then I suddenly realized that she was talking about me! She desired me as her mate! I told her that I was only interested in males, not females, and she then pleaded with me, to at least let her TRY to pleasure me. “You could close your eyes and pretend if you wanted,” she exclaimed to me.

I sensed from deep within me, that this was not right. Why should we have to settle for less? I asked her why she now desires women and not men, (for she had before professed to desire only men,) and she points out into the room, and exclaims, “just look at them! They mistreat women terribly! They can’t even be loyal to one for even a few hours! But women, they are able to remain loyal to another for a longer period of time. you, I know that you would be loyal. I have watched you for a long, long time. I know you. You would not leave me.” I looked down into her pleading eyes and told her no, and that she too should wait for the one who will love her as she needed to be loved, and that she should not give up looking for him.

Just then, I heard a bomb go off in the distance, with people outside screaming.

No one inside the house responded to it. No one cared. They were intent on living as if there was no tomorrow. With grief, I knew then that they might just keep on doing what they were doing until they died.

Then I heard a song in the background, called “Next To Me,” by Emeli Sande. It made my heart ache terribly, for this song was describing the kind of guy that I so deeply desired. One who didn’t seek out the parties, drugs, money or fame. One who would be faithful to me, no matter what.

As I listened to the lyrics, I suddenly remembered, hearing from somewhere, that there was one, whom a group of people believed in, that would love you and never leave you.

The Christians, the believers. They believed in Jesus.

Many of them had found what they were looking for in Him.

As the song finished playing in the background,
I realized that this was what I was going to try next. Perhaps there really was something to those who believed in their God Jesus. Perhaps this Jesus could help me find a mate who would be faithful to me. Perhaps then, this loneliness from deep within me, would be assuaged.

As I left the party, I tried to tell those who would listen, that they didn’t have to settle for second best, and that they could have the true love they were looking for.

But they were too involved in seeking their pleasures, and in continuing on with their daily assignments, to take any notice. Even the girl who had proclaimed to secretly love me, was shaking her head no, and looking at me as if I had finally lost it.

So I left the party, in search of this Christian God named Jesus.

I then woke up to the song slowly,
As I heard that voice inside say in time to the final refrain:

“So if you want a mate like this one that is faithful,
And who’ll be there for you in these darker days,
Just know that you won’t find him where the rest go
You will find him
You’ll find him next to Me…”

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To hear the song and view the lyrics, go to:

Or to watch the solo music video, go to:

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I am here today to personally testify
That I was once like this woman, looking for one who would be faithful to me in thick or thin. I had some beauty, I had some money, and I even had some fame. But I was still empty inside, no matter what I did. And I was married to a man who was held bound to his liquor, his career, and his pride.

But a neighbor seen how empty I was inside,
And she told me about the Jesus she knew,
(this one sounded so different from the distant Roman Catholic one I had been brought up to serve,)
And so I soon decided to reach out to Him,
To see if He could help me
To find that true love that I was searching for.

I found it in Him,
In a way that I can still barely describe today.
I not only found that elusive true love with a man that is described in love stories, I also found in Jesus a true best friend who deeply loves me and is always with me,
And who guides me into blessings and good things.
When I placed my whole life in His hands,
When I made my whole purpose in living to simply know Him more and more,
When I spoke to Him as if He was right there beside me,
THEN,
Is when He gave me my heart’s desire;
To love a man who loved me no matter what.
For me it was not instantaneous,
But happened slowly over time.
My true love was the same body
That had been pledged to me years ago.
But now he was different. His family came before work. He no longer drank or scorned me. He had changed. He had accepted me for who I was, faults and all.
He had become that ‘new creation’ that the scriptures tell us of. He shows me true love beyond my wildest dreams.
I see Jesus in him daily, and marvel at his love for me and our children. He loves me almost like Jesus does, with faithfulness, longsuffering, patience, kindness, goodness, self-control, and gentleness.
Now we grow old together, and as our physical beauty fades,
We focus on each other’s beauty from within.

NEVER EVER have I ever regretted,
Giving my life up to Christ!
(Or remaining married to my wonderful husband!)

I am testifying;
You don’t always have to leave the one you’re with;
To find your true love.
I believe it is possible for The Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth
to change the one you love,
And make him (or her) this ‘new creation in Christ’.
So if you believe that your loved one has been called by God, then persevere and keep that faith.
It may take much P.U.S.H. prayers (Praying Until Something Happens,) and casting out of demons, but happen it will.

You only must believe.

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“Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4, NIV

“Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.”
1 Corinthians 6:9-10 ESV

“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?” Hebrews 13:4-6 ESV

“To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.”
1 Corinthians 7:10-11 ESV

And Peter said to them, “Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. For the promise is for you and for your children and for all who are far off, everyone whom the Lord our God calls to himself.” Acts 2:38-39 ESV

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23 (KJV)

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17 ESV

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