Find Him Next To Me

Another dream…

In this dream,
I was a young, beautiful woman.
I knew I was beautiful, for everyone kept telling me so.
I was one of those rare ones, who had only needed the addition of braces at age twelve, to become quite beautiful.
No other addition to my body was needed.
I had full, slightly wavy dark hair, down to my waist,
And was often told that I looked like Kim Kardashian.

I was in a big house, with a big party going on, with many beautiful people in attendance that I knew.

These were the ones that everyone else wanted to be,
The Hollywood types with lots of money and style.

People had come to this party, looking for their pleasures.

I was looking for my boyfriend.

I was looking forward to being with him again, for I had been away from him for three long days on business,
And missed his touch and companionship.
I was living with him,
In the hopes that he was ‘The One’
That would be faithful to me.

But as I searched for him through out all the bedrooms of this mansion, I discovered him in one, in bed with another man.

I Cried out to him,
“You just couldn’t wait a weekend for me to return, could you? What happened? I know it isn’t because I didn’t pleasure you enough!”

The guy tried to defend himself to me,
Denying to me that he was even having relations with the man, but that was of no use, for I had caught them in the act itself.

So I went out into main room, thoroughly disgusted with what I had just seen.

Others were there, again seeking their pleasures, with drugs of all kinds. And a few others that were there were still working.

But I realized that we were all there in this house,
Taking shelter from some kind of outside destruction that was expected to reign down upon the people.

One woman was there taking care of her ward,(doing her job) and was still going by her strictly scripted curriculum, in what to do next for her student. She had gone into the fridge and made some kind of food, (as it had fit into the curriculum,) but they had not eaten it all and had told no one else about it, and instead they had left it out to spoil. I found it, and berated them for it. (Couldn’t they have shared it with the others? What a waste!)

Just then a good friend of mine came into the room, and she asked me why I was not with my boyfriend. I told her we had just broken up. I told her that this did not mean that I was going to give up in my search for the right one. Indeed, I was still even more determined to find him.

Her eyes alighted, and she told me she had not given up either. She reached out to me and then tried to lay down in my lap. Then I suddenly realized that she was talking about me! She desired me as her mate! I told her that I was only interested in males, not females, and she then pleaded with me, to at least let her TRY to pleasure me. “You could close your eyes and pretend if you wanted,” she exclaimed to me.

I sensed from deep within me, that this was not right. Why should we have to settle for less? I asked her why she now desires women and not men, (for she had before professed to desire only men,) and she points out into the room, and exclaims, “just look at them! They mistreat women terribly! They can’t even be loyal to one for even a few hours! But women, they are able to remain loyal to another for a longer period of time. you, I know that you would be loyal. I have watched you for a long, long time. I know you. You would not leave me.” I looked down into her pleading eyes and told her no, and that she too should wait for the one who will love her as she needed to be loved, and that she should not give up looking for him.

Just then, I heard a bomb go off in the distance, with people outside screaming.

No one inside the house responded to it. No one cared. They were intent on living as if there was no tomorrow. With grief, I knew then that they might just keep on doing what they were doing until they died.

Then I heard a song in the background, called “Next To Me,” by Emeli Sande. It made my heart ache terribly, for this song was describing the kind of guy that I so deeply desired. One who didn’t seek out the parties, drugs, money or fame. One who would be faithful to me, no matter what.

As I listened to the lyrics, I suddenly remembered, hearing from somewhere, that there was one, whom a group of people believed in, that would love you and never leave you.

The Christians, the believers. They believed in Jesus.

Many of them had found what they were looking for in Him.

As the song finished playing in the background,
I realized that this was what I was going to try next. Perhaps there really was something to those who believed in their God Jesus. Perhaps this Jesus could help me find a mate who would be faithful to me. Perhaps then, this loneliness from deep within me, would be assuaged.

As I left the party, I tried to tell those who would listen, that they didn’t have to settle for second best, and that they could have the true love they were looking for.

But they were too involved in seeking their pleasures, and in continuing on with their daily assignments, to take any notice. Even the girl who had proclaimed to secretly love me, was shaking her head no, and looking at me as if I had finally lost it.

So I left the party, in search of this Christian God named Jesus.

I then woke up to the song slowly,
As I heard that voice inside say in time to the final refrain:

“So if you want a mate like this one that is faithful,
And who’ll be there for you in these darker days,
Just know that you won’t find him where the rest go
You will find him
You’ll find him next to Me…”

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To hear the song and view the lyrics, go to:

Or to watch the solo music video, go to:

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I am here today to personally testify
That I was once like this woman, looking for one who would be faithful to me in thick or thin. I had some beauty, I had some money, and I even had some fame. But I was still empty inside, no matter what I did. And I was married to a man who was held bound to his liquor, his career, and his pride.

But a neighbor seen how empty I was inside,
And she told me about the Jesus she knew,
(this one sounded so different from the distant Roman Catholic one I had been brought up to serve,)
And so I soon decided to reach out to Him,
To see if He could help me
To find that true love that I was searching for.

I found it in Him,
In a way that I can still barely describe today.
I not only found that elusive true love with a man that is described in love stories, I also found in Jesus a true best friend who deeply loves me and is always with me,
And who guides me into blessings and good things.
When I placed my whole life in His hands,
When I made my whole purpose in living to simply know Him more and more,
When I spoke to Him as if He was right there beside me,
THEN,
Is when He gave me my heart’s desire;
To love a man who loved me no matter what.
For me it was not instantaneous,
But happened slowly over time.
My true love was the same body
That had been pledged to me years ago.
But now he was different. His family came before work. He no longer drank or scorned me. He had changed. He had accepted me for who I was, faults and all.
He had become that ‘new creation’ that the scriptures tell us of. He shows me true love beyond my wildest dreams.
I see Jesus in him daily, and marvel at his love for me and our children. He loves me almost like Jesus does, with faithfulness, longsuffering, patience, kindness, goodness, self-control, and gentleness.
Now we grow old together, and as our physical beauty fades,
We focus on each other’s beauty from within.

NEVER EVER have I ever regretted,
Giving my life up to Christ!
(Or remaining married to my wonderful husband!)

I am testifying;
You don’t always have to leave the one you’re with;
To find your true love.
I believe it is possible for The Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth
to change the one you love,
And make him (or her) this ‘new creation in Christ’.
So if you believe that your loved one has been called by God, then persevere and keep that faith.
It may take much P.U.S.H. prayers (Praying Until Something Happens,) and casting out of demons, but happen it will.

You only must believe.

* * * *

“Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4, NIV

“Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.”
1 Corinthians 6:9-10 ESV

“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?” Hebrews 13:4-6 ESV

“To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.”
1 Corinthians 7:10-11 ESV

And Peter said to them, “Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. For the promise is for you and for your children and for all who are far off, everyone whom the Lord our God calls to himself.” Acts 2:38-39 ESV

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23 (KJV)

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17 ESV

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A Reality Game Show

Another dream…

In this one, I am a mother, with a husband and our three teenage boys.  Our family was traveling, along with a large group of other people, when we were all ‘chosen’ to be in a ‘reality game show’ of some kind.

We were given no choice In playing it or not, but we were all told (by someone,) that if you were really Christian, then you would be fine.

Almost everyone there, breathed a sigh of relief, for most of us considered ourselves to be Christians. (Those who were openly not, were suddenly very scared.)

We started out being told that there would be a nuclear bomb going off (in the distance,) in ten seconds, and that we were to program this countdown into our computers, and watch it on the monitor as it imploded.

We all did so, some hitting panic and going insane, but our family did not see it as real, so we did not panic. Instead, my children did not obey me, and did not program their computer clocks for the countdown. So they watched mine instead and then looked up at the monitor right when the explosion took place. After this, I warned my kids, that they MUST follow my directions, or they could die.

Then we were told to quickly move on, following the only path that was open to all of us. 

They herded us out of there so fast, that I ended up forgetting my pillow and my purse. When I turned back to go get them, those in control of the show physically prevented me, telling me how I would die from the radiation if I did not immediately do what they were telling me to do.

Finding myself blocked from returning, I told them that I’d better find it safe and in secure hold for me to retrieve from them once the game was over. (They nodded in agreement, willing to tell me anything, just so they could get me to go along with all the others.)

So I returned to my family, and we, (our group,) all continued down the path placed before us by these producers.

All along the path, we had to make choices, and do whatever the producers told us to do. When someone didn’t do what they told us to do, they would ‘die’, and then be removed.

As we traveled, our numbers slowly declined.

As we went along the path, a wide ‘slide’ that you could slide downwards on, I was able to go more slowly, over the bumps, thereby helping my kids to do the same. Because of this, I managed to ‘catch’ a pair of souvenir coffee mugs, to remind us of our journey.

Others were not so fortunate; they went so fast down the wide slide, that they flew right off the edge, and disappeared.

We found a place to rest, out of the way from the rest, a small room filled with people, who were all listening to a lecturer talk about silver dollars and how they had tracers somehow on or within them, that allowed the government to know where they were, and that the only way to get rid of the tracer, was to put the coin in your oven on high heat. This heat would then deactivate it. I asked him, (them?,) if this would ruin the value of the coin, because it left the coin blackened with soot, and one would need to remove this dirt by polishing the coin. (And polishing it would cause the coin to be less valuable.) But the guy told me that there were other ways
to make the coin look like new again, that did not damage it or remove it’s value. He spoke of how beautiful these silver dollars were, and looked to me for my agreement. I told him that my grandfather had given me my first silver dollar, and that I have liked them ever since. “Well then,” said the man speaking on the platform, as I watched his eyes begin to calculate, “You must have acquired quite a collection of them by now.”

“Oh!,” those nearby began to chime in, “how many do you have now? You must be really rich!” I shook my head back and forth slowly, looking at the one who said I must be rich, indicating to him and them, that I was not.  Besides, even if I did have some, I knew that coins did not make one rich. Our family walked away from them, with me still sadly shaking my head.

We arrived to a place that reminded me of an airport or a transportation terminal, and we were forced to enter along with all the others. Inside, my husband was directed to a different path from me and the kids. I noticed this immediately, and went back to turn around, for I most definitely did not want to be separated from him. Once again though, the directors refused to let me go back to where he was. I was about to make a big fuss over it, (to me it was worth dying over,) but suddenly the voice within me calmed me down, and promised me that He would make sure that we were reunited again with each other very soon, and to go ahead and go where they were directing us. So I did, and just a few minutes later, our paths were somehow directed, so that I found myself (and the kids,) along side my husband once again. 

Our group worked its way through the busy terminal, and found ourselves walking along side a cliff, that had a slight overhang to it. We had paused to rest for a moment, when I suddenly sensed from my God, that there would be an earthquake. Not part of the staged production, (not planned,) but a real one. He told me, that only those not sheltering under the side of the cliff will get hurt. So I told everyone else there, and many of them took the shelter, but some were stubborn and refused to take my advice. I warned them again that they would die, but they ignored me or laughed at me. When the quake happened just a few moments later, all those that had not believed and sought the shelter, were killed by the falling boulders.

It was at that moment that I realized that we had to FOLLOW GOD, NOT MAN, if we were to survive.

Next test on path, we were told to move forward onto a platform that was just ahead of us, if we did not want to be shot and killed by bad guys. (No one could turn back, For that way was now blocked by the fallen boulders.)

Everyone started to move forward into the platform container, but I stayed behind, for I felt God telling me that we were to remain where we were. I called out to everyone and told them to stay where we were, if they wanted to remain safe.

Everyone except my family and those closest to us, rushed quickly past us and onto the platform.

The producers then lifted up the walls of the platform, and locked them into place, leaving only a small door, open.

“Anyone else care to go into the platform?,” the producers asked those of us who had remained behind. “It is the only way you’ll have a chance of being safe. You will surely die if you remain outside the platform.”

At this, everyone else except me and my family and a few others, went into the platform.

My family argued with me, demanding that we, too, go into the platform, but I remained where I was, stating firmly that God had told me to stay where we were.

So my husband and kids remained with me, though I think they still doubted. (My kids didn’t want to live without their mother anyways, and my husband couldn’t live with the thought that he’d be the only one to survive from his family.) So the platform was sealed off, leaving us and a few others behind.

Then I sensed from God to duck. So I called out to everyone to duck, and all except a few, did. Shots rang out over our heads, and those who had not ducked, were killed.

Next I sensed that we were to jump. So I told everyone to jump up as high as they could, when I gave them the signal.  Moments later, I gave the signal, but only my family jumped. As we were in the air, shots rang out beneath us, leaving those who refused to jump, dead.

Next I felt God tell me to have everyone jump and widen our legs apart, like jumping-jack exercises. So I told them, but one of my kids didn’t do it fast enough, (I think he got tired of believing, and began to doubt?,) so he got shot in one of his legs.

The platform in front of us then began to heat up like an oven, glowing red and shaking, and slowly make its way forward, allowing us to do the same.

But my child was still laying there on the floor in his pain and panic, wondering if he was now going to die, and fearing we were going to leave him, but we stayed.

I got down on my knees before him, and went to my God in prayer. I Asked Him to please help me heal my son’s leg.

So my Lord told me to very gently suck on the wound. As I did, I spit out lots of blood. God then told me to stop and to VERY carefully remove the bullet from his leg.

I looked and seen the bullet right at the surface of the wound. It was unlike anything I had ever seen. It was made out of some kind of plastic, somewhat clear and transparent, filled with some kind of greenish fluid, but still in the usual bullet shape.

“Put it very gently aside,” my Lord told me, “and have no one touch it, for if it breaks open all of you will die.”

I warned my family of this, so we left it alone and lived. I then removed a strip of cloth from my shirt, and bandaged up my son’s leg.

The platform had been moved, off to one side, and was no longer in front of us. It had opened up its walls again, and as we passed it, we looked inside, to see if anyone was left, but we could only see piles of ash and smoke. We could tell, by some kind of clue or sign that had been left behind, that all those who had entered it had been killed.

We were the only ones from our group to have survived.

We went along by ourselves, till some soldiers came upon us. They demanded that we go with them.

We refused.

Then they demanded that we renounce our God, and follow them instead, or be beheaded.

But we refused.

My husband came to stand along side me, put his arm around me and hugged me, giving me his sign of support.

“As for me and my house,” I told them, “We will serve the Lord.”

They then turned to my children, and told each of them, that they would die if they did not renounce the God of their parents.

I looked at them, my grief and sadness overwhelming, for how could I possibly tell them and convince them now, that it would be better to die at the hands of these men, than renounce their claim to God and try to live without Him? I sensed that their answer had to be given in scripture, or God’s spiritual protection would not be upon them. How could I tell them this? There was no way. I knew, that if I spoke, we would all be killed. So I held my breath, and waited for their answers.

My youngest spoke up first, his voice ringing out clear and firm, quoting some bible passage that was too long and complete for me to remember. I think a part of it, contained John 3:16.

My other son then spoke up next, standing there tall and proud, as he recited the first part of The Lord’s Prayer. “Our Father, who is in heaven, HALLOWED be HIS name!”

Then they turned to my oldest, and I could feel my heart sink, for I could see that he was struggling, still undecided in his faith. After a pause he looked up to the heavens, and all he could get out, was “I believe Lord; help my unbelief!”

But to our great relief, it was enough!

We gave a sigh of relief, as the men then threw us into one of their prison cells, and told us to get ready to die, for we were now scheduled to be beheaded at the first morning light.

But hours later, as we all huddled together in the small dark cell, we heard a big boom, and wondered if a bomb had gone off. We found that whatever it was, it had removed the lock from our prison cell door, and killed off all our captors. It reminded us of what had happened to some of the apostles when they awaited death in their prison cell so long ago. 

So we stumbled out of our cell, thanking and praising our God for His protection and deliverance, and then continued on our way.

I then awoke.
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