Reliving Old Grief

 

I dreamed of my mother again,
And of my grandmother.

I was back in my old childhood house, living out of a suitcase,
And having to face my mother’s death again.

My uncle was also there with me;
I sensed that he had been sent there to help me recover from my mother’s death, and was praying for me.

I kept wandering around the house looking for something familiar,
Something of comfort, but could find nothing.

I kept a blanket around me (I was only in my undergarments
Underneath,) and thought to get dressed, but even the clothes in my suitcase
Were unfamiliar.

I seen the odd collections of ceramics and plates that were still unfinished, (she liked to make them,) but they were things I had not seen before.

I sensed it was time to give them away.

I kept crying, the grief overwhelming me
Consuming from the inside out.

I tried to go through the closet to the other side of the house
Like I used to when I was young, but it had long been blocked off.

“I miss you so much mother!” I exclaimed to the closet wall.
“And I miss you too, grandma & grandpa!”

“But I miss my mama most of all!”

No matter how hard I tried,
I just kept crying.

I then woke up.

*

When I awoke,
I kept hearing the tune of a song, (a top 40 song,) that keeps repeating itself:
“I keep bleeding…Keep keep bleeding…love…I get cut up inside…”

I looked up the date of when my mother died.

Several years ago this Thursday.

Figures.
Maybe that’s why I dreamed of her again.

“That,” I felt God reply,
“and the tulips that are sitting on top of your kitchen counter,
Constantly reminding you of your grandmother.
They help too.”

I thought of my mother and how she lived in the same house as her parents,
And wondered how she coped with all the memories of her parents
Constantly surrounding her.

My heart remained heavy though,
As I relived the grief from my mother’s death.

“This is an attack from satan, Ma Petite,” my God replied.

“A dream of my mother?” I was a little confused of this.
“What’s wrong with having a dream of my mom?”

“This dream, brought you grief, pain, and loneliness, all over again.
Which kingdom is better served, bringing you that?”

True; it was hard to continue on with life when you’re struck down again with that ‘death grief’. Yes, reliving old grief definitely was an attack from satan….

*

Matthew 6:34 KJV “Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.”

Psalm 23:1-6 (KJV) “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.”

John 14:27 (KJV) “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”

 

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That Altar To Satan

A few months ago, me and one of my boys went to one of the local second hand stores on their half off day.

When we went in the store, it felt off, as if something had changed in the store, but we weren’t sure what it was or where it had come from.

As we shopped, we kept our eyes out for whatever it was that had changed.

Then my son came to me asking me for a band aid. He showed me a small cut on his hand that was bleeding.

So I gave him one, and he put it on his hand.

Then just a few minutes later, he came to me again, this time needing two more band aids for bleeding cuts.
I found two more band aids and gave them to him. Again, he put them on.

I asked him what he was touching, that would cause cuts on his hands, but he said he was looking at clothes, and did not know how or why his hands had started to bleed. He said he came to me for the band aids because he didn’t want to get the clothes all bloody.

We looked at his hands again, and found that just within the time that we’d been talking, there were several more small cuts in both hands that were starting to bleed. The cuts were in the natural creases of the hand.

As I tried in vain to search for more band aids, the Lord told me to get out of the store.

But I kept looking for the band aids, thinking that he would need them anyways, and I was already in the process of searching through out my purse for them.

But again, I heard the voice from within almost shout at me: “Get out!”

So I stopped looking and ushered him outside.

As we were leaving, we looked back into the store, and seen a huge altar sitting there right in the middle of the store.

We had not seen it as we went in, for the store was busy, and several people had been standing in front of it. People had also put stuff on top of the altar, so it was not very noticeable close up.

But from a distance, now that the people had cleared out, one could see it.

It looked like the kind of altar one would find in a massive Roman Catholic church, complete with a large X with a P going through it, and the letters JHS on its side. It looked like it had first been built in the seventies.

That is what our eyes told us. But the spirit in both of us knew without a doubt, that this altar had once been used for satanic sacrifices and ritual works. We guessed that it had been in a Roman Catholic church at one time, and then had been used by a satanic coven. Now the coven no longer wanted it, and so it was now for sale at the second hand store.

My son was trying hard not to cry. He told me that he could sense the death that had come upon the victims that were once offered up and killed upon that altar to satan.

By the time we left that store, my son’s hands were slippery with blood. Many more wrinkles on both the inside palms of his hands had begun to bleed. The band aids wouldn’t even stay on; there was just too much blood.

But just minutes after we left the building, my son’s hands simply stopped bleeding.

A half hour after that, all signs of cuts or bleeding, were gone. No infection had set in. It was as if it had never even happened.

The following month we went back to the store. The altar was gone, and we experienced no more cuts or bleeding problems at all.

I share this to let others know, that sometimes items from Catholic churches can be used by Satanists. And when they are, those items can become very cursed indeed…

*
Deuteronomy 12:1-3 GNV 1599: “These are the ordinances and the laws, which ye shall observe and do in the land, (which the Lord God [a]of thy fathers giveth thee to possess it) as long as ye live upon the earth. Ye shall utterly destroy all the places wherein the nations which ye shall possess, served their gods upon the high mountains, and upon the hills, and under every green tree. Also ye shall overthrow their altars, and break down their pillars, and burn their [b]groves with fire: and ye shall hew down the graven images of their gods, and abolish their names out of that place.” (See also Deut. 7:5)

Ephesians 6:12 GNV 1599: “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, and against the worldly governors, the princes of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness, which are in the high places.”

2 Corinthians 2:11King James Version (KJV) “Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices.”

Ephesians 4:27 “Neither give place to the devil.”

A Miracle: I Survived The Bite Of A Black Widow Spider

(FYI: Nothing in this missive is to be taken as medical advice. If you are in need, go to the Great Physician.)

It was in the middle of the summer, and the temperature had soared to over a hundred degrees every day for the past three weeks. Our puny little air conditioner could never seem to keep up with the heat. I was getting sick of it. Literally.

So when my husband told me that it was going to be another blistering day, I decided to take my paperwork and go downstairs to sit by the air conditioner.

But the Holy Spirit told me no. “Stay up here and work,” He told me.

But I became angry at the command. “No!” I said in response. “I am sick and tired of being so hot all the time! I’m getting a break from it!”

So I took my work and went downstairs.

It was much cooler there. I sat at the table (this was the school table where we did our work during the week,) and felt relieved as I felt the cool breeze on my skin.

Then I felt something crawling on my leg. I thought it must be the fly that had been in the kitchen earlier. I felt the Holy Spirit tell me to look and make sure, but once again, I foolishly ignored Him. Without looking, I used my other foot to brush it off my leg.

That night, began one of the worst nights of my life. My heart pounded like it was trying to escape my chest, and every time I tried to lay down, I felt my lungs fill up with fluid till I had to sit up just to breathe. My head ached, and I felt almost like I had a severe case of the flu.

For three days, I was intensely ill.

I went back to the Lord and begged for His forgiveness, and asked Him to have mercy on me and help me. I push prayed until I heard Him give me directions. He told me not to go to the hospital, but instead was to take a certain number of vitamin C’s, B vitamins, and calcium pills, and to repeat this as He instructed.

I told Him that I could not, for I had run out of calcium pills several days ago, and was waiting for the shipment to arrive any day.

“Go look,” He said.

“It’s not there, Lord! I’d just be wasting my energy!”

“GO LOOK!”, He insisted.

Sigh. I knew my God was not going to give up. So I said “Fine! I’ll go look!”

It wasn’t where I usually keep it; it was sitting right at eye level, in front of the other bottles of assorted vitamins.

I was amazed. I figured that my husband had probably seen the shipment, and had begun unpacking it for me, but got called away before he could put them all away.

I thanked God, took the medicine, and slowly started to feel better.

A week later, and I was still suffering from the strange symptoms. So I went to the doctor.

He listened to my symptoms, looked at my swollen leg, (It looked like I had a half a grapefruit hiding under the skin,) and promptly diagnosed me with a black widow spider bite. He said I was fortunate that I had survived the poison, but that there was little he could do for me now, as the worst of the danger had passed. (The anti-venom was contraindicated this late in the game.)

So I went home, and researched on line what one could do for a black widow spider bite. To my amazement, one web site suggested taking large doses of vitamin C, B vitamins, and calcium, every few hours.

I thanked my husband for putting the bottle of calcium in my closet, but he said he didn’t do it. “Maybe one of the boys did it,” he replied. I figured he must be right.

But a week later, I got a notice in my email from the supplier of those calcium pills. “We are sorry to inform you, that the product you ordered has not yet shipped out, because it is still on back order…”

I was shocked. I went back into the closet to stare at the bottle of calcium pills. They looked no different from what I usually use. They were the same brand and dose as I usually keep on hand. But I took them and hugged them to my chest, and thanked God for sending them to me. When they ran out, I wanted to keep the bottle to remember it by, but the Lord said it might become an idol and that I was not to keep it, so I threw it out.

The symptoms lasted for close to a year. It is not something I would wish upon another living thing, ever.

This last night of Hanukkah, we remember what the Lord Jesus has done for us. This was one of them.

May you be blessed abundantly by the Lord God of all,
C. Dunamis