Trying To Reach Heaven

A Dream…  (Journal entry recorded in my Bible, from 1995)

I am trying to reach heaven, but the pathway, the gate, is too narrow. I could not get through. I thought I’d be o.k., but I was not.

As I stood there at the gate, I seen many, many babies.

There were those that were full of joy and life, kicking, cooing, gurgling, with their energy giving off a form of light that seemed to glow from within them.

But many of the babies had wasted away and died. Their forms were still and lifeless, their skin held a dull almost grey color to it, and their eyes were empty, starring off into nothing. You could guess as to how long they had been dead, by the amount of decay that had already taken place in their bodies. There was no light whatsoever coming from them any more.

Some were still in different stages of dying. I could see the ones that were undecided; they looked as if they were dead, but there was hope that shone out from around them. Some were crying out for help, their cries piercing my heart from their shrill intensity of need. I longed to reach out to hold them and help them, but I knew I could not, for I sensed they were in a different dimension from mine.   

I cried and cried for them, as I watched them float by. I asked not to be one of those that did not make it. I thought of my children, and cried more. I begged God not to have me or my family be amongst those that did not make it. I asked Him how not to be one of them. I asked Him how I could get through the narrow pathway.

I then sensed that each person was different; they had to give up of themselves, their greatest thing they loved, in order to steer through it. You needed the help of those who had gone before you. Without them you lost your knowledge of how to get through the pathway to heaven, and you could no longer see the forces of darkness in your way. These people looked and sounded normal, but when you were on the right path, you seen through them, and this bothers them, so they nag and attack you to pull you off the path. Once you are off this path, you must submit to the darkness.

I seen my littlest child look to me in her innocence, and she did not see the distinction between the two realities/dimensions. To her, (for her,) they were one, and the dark forces could not touch her. But SOON she looked to me, watched me, my facial expressions, to see if she should feel fear or panic, and in this way lost her natural born ability to “follow the path.” I tried to be like her, but could not be.

I then woke up from the dream.

What is the greatest thing I loved in this world? My free time; my alone time. Time, when I can do what I want, and feed my will as I wish. My job has stopped a large portion of this time, yet the remaining time left is needed, the lord is asking for it, and in my sin, I’m hedging against it. I pray the Lord will give me His heart, to want to seek His Will, instead of mine…

*

Note: I believe that ‘those that had gone before’, were those people from the Bible, and the believers that have carried the faith upon the earth from generation to generation. The ‘natural born ability to “follow the path”‘, refers to the innocence that is within each newborn child. (They are too young to understand evil, or recognize it for what it is at that age.) 

*

Matthew 7:13-14, 21, 7-8 KJV

Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat:
Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.
Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

Remembering Who’s Child I Am

A dream…

It is dark outside, and I realize this is another dream. So I look around at the sky and the horizon, searching to see if there are any tornadoes. (There usually is.)

The sky is darkening by the moment, rolling over an around me.

I stand on a hill, alone. Behind me, stands a house, large, with many rooms.

I sense my grandmother near me, catch a glimpse of her favorite pink dress, and then she motions to me, that there was, or could be, shelter within the building, if I wanted it. I thought of it, dreading having to go in and search out the safest hiding place, knowing that at any moment, it could all come crashing in on us.

I pause, and take one more look for any tornadoes.

Then I see them, three of them, off to the right hand of me, behind some other buildings, off into the distance. With ribbing like an elephant’s trunk, swaying back and forth, they came towards me, towards the big house, slowly. As if they had all the time in the world, and knew it.

But I knew I did not.

It would take time to find the best hiding place.

Oh but my heart just dreaded it so. “I am TIRED of these dreams,” I say out loud. “I want to wake up!” I did my best to will it, but could not.

Still the tornado trunks came.

“Run inside and hide, quick!” I heard a voice say to me.

And I went back towards the house and almost went in it to do so.

But at the last moment, I stand up and say “No!”

With my whole body screaming at me (ARE YOU CRAZY?!) I stand and say “NO!” more loudly.

I go back out onto the lawn and the hill, and face the three tornadoes. I shake like a leaf, trembling in their winds, as I stand there, and remember who’s child I am.

“No!,” I shout to the tornadoes as loud as I can, “I will not run and hide any longer! If my God Jesus wants me to be in a tornado, then so be it! I will stand and await his will for me!” I gave a slight pause before finishing. “”I trust in Him.”

All at once, the most center forward of the tornadoes changed its meanderings, its pace, and came forward, going around the other buildings. With a sudden flash, it changed to a ream of bolted lightening, its rays flashing and snapping to and from its form.

Miraculously, (I could not believe how I did so,) I stood my ground.

“Run! Hide! Are you crazy?,” said a voice nearby.

But I held to my ground, trembling as I did so, claiming, “No, I trust my God! I have nothing to fear from Him.”

And suddenly, It is before me, in the shape of a cross. (Why had I not noticed this before?)

I stand there before Him in shock, looking upon all His terrifying glory.

Mouth agape, I starred, until I suddenly realized somehow, that I should not be looking directly at such light, or I would be blinded. I was about to avert my eyes, when the lightening dimmed somewhat, and I found it not so fearful to look upon.

It stood there in silence before me, waiting for me to speak.

“You are my world,” I said to Him, now upon my knees. “I trust You. I will not run from You any longer. Do with me as You Will.”

And suddenly the earth shakes and rolls beneath me, tossing me this way and that. Panic, pure panic, wells up from within me, and I try to grab a hold of something to hold on to.

The house is right behind me, and a part of me debates if I could reach its safety before dying.

But again I stop the thoughts and say “NO! I –will – not – run – and – hide!!!”

“Then let go…,” whispers a voice inside me.

I think “now that IS crazy,” but I give it my thoughts. It was something I had not tried before, and after all, what else did I have to loose?

So I let go.

The moment I did, there was a peace from within me, for I noticed the worst did not befall me, as I had feared. Instead, like a ball being bounced back and forth by a group of children, as it rides the waves of nylon material, (like a parachute with a hole in its center,) I found myself inside a cocoon of some kind, invisible, protecting me from the fury of the storm.

I bounced and rode the earth, like a bucking bronco, until I found myself wishing that I still would wake up from the dream. (It was all getting to be a bit too much for me.) So I ask Jesus to end the dream for me.

And then suddenly,

I was awake.

My relief is great, as I whisper out loud “thank You Jesus. Thank You for waking me from the dream…”
*  *  *  *

“For in him we live, and move, and have our being; as certain also of your own poets have said, For we are also his offspring.”
(Acts 17:28, KJV)

“Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;

Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.

For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.

And whether we be afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effectual in the enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer: or whether we be comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation.

And our hope of you is stedfast, knowing, that as ye are partakers of the sufferings, so shall ye be also of the consolation.”
(2 Corinthians 1:3-7, KJV)

The Booming Voice From Above

(Seen through the eyes of one of my children…)

My whole family is gathered around the table for the evening meal. As is our custom, we each take turns thanking the Lord for something we are thankful for.  

This time, unseen to all but one child, was a row of ten demons, lined up on the other side of our kitchen countertop, listening in.
The first child said they were thankful for their new friend that they had just met.

At that, one of the demons turned to the demon next to him, and said “Hey! I know! Let’s see if we can get them to turn against each other and hate each other!”

Right as the other demons were about to chime in and agree to the plan, a booming voice from above, yelled out.

“NO!”

At this, the demons shivered and cowered in fear, but did not address the voice itself. Instead, they ignored it the best they could, and continued listening to what else we were thankful for.

Another child spoke up. “I’m thankful for the dog and this wonderful meal.”

Again the demons began to whisper amongst themselves, but were suddenly interrupted by a booming loud voice.

“NO!”

“I’m also thankful for the new internet games my friend just gave me.”

At this, one of the demons whispered something into the ear of the one next to him. What was said, was not heard.

And this time, the booming voice from above was disturbingly silent.
My husband spoke up next. “I’m thankful that the Lord has moved us up here, and that we have this house to live in.”

But at this, for some reason, it was the demons themselves that remained silent, watching.

Another one of us spoke up. “I’m thankful we still have the chickens that we do have.” (This was after several of our favorite ones suddenly dying.)

At this the demons chortled with glee and exclaimed, “Yeah! Let’s go kill off the rest of them!”

“NO!” slapped the booming voice from up above.

And again, the demons cowered, shook, and tried to hide underneath each other, but they did not look up.

Next, I spoke up. “I’m thankful for still being married to my husband, and that I was well enough to make the dinner.”

Again the demons conspired, but what they conspired was not heard. It did not matter however, for once again, that booming voice was heard from above.

“NO!”

The demons cowered and shook amongst themselves yet again.

This continued till all had spoken their thanks out loud and the prayer had ended.

Then the demons left.
*  *  *  *
Job 1
6 Now there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan came also among them. 7 And the LORD said unto Satan, Whence comest thou? Then Satan answered the LORD, and said, From going to and fro in the earth, and from walking up and down in it. 8 And the LORD said unto Satan, Hast thou considered my servant Job, that there is none like him in the earth, a perfect and an upright man, one that feareth God, and escheweth evil? 9 Then Satan answered the LORD, and said, Doth Job fear God for nought? 10 Hast not thou made an hedge about him, and about his house, and about all that he hath on every side? thou hast blessed the work of his hands, and his substance is increased in the land. 11 But put forth thine hand now, and touch all that he hath, and he will curse thee to thy face. 12 And the LORD said unto Satan, Behold, all that he hath is in thy power; only upon himself put not forth thine hand. So Satan went forth from the presence of the LORD.
Job 42
10 And the LORD turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends: also the LORD gave Job twice as much as he had before. 12 So the LORD blessed the latter end of Job more than his beginning: for he had fourteen thousand sheep, and six thousand camels, and a thousand yoke of oxen, and a thousand she asses. 13 He had also seven sons and three daughters. 16 After this lived Job an hundred and forty years, and saw his sons, and his sons’ sons, even four generations. 17 So Job died, being old and full of days.