A Miracle: I Survived The Bite Of A Black Widow Spider

(FYI: Nothing in this missive is to be taken as medical advice. If you are in need, go to the Great Physician.)

It was in the middle of the summer, and the temperature had soared to over a hundred degrees every day for the past three weeks. Our puny little air conditioner could never seem to keep up with the heat. I was getting sick of it. Literally.

So when my husband told me that it was going to be another blistering day, I decided to take my paperwork and go downstairs to sit by the air conditioner.

But the Holy Spirit told me no. “Stay up here and work,” He told me.

But I became angry at the command. “No!” I said in response. “I am sick and tired of being so hot all the time! I’m getting a break from it!”

So I took my work and went downstairs.

It was much cooler there. I sat at the table (this was the school table where we did our work during the week,) and felt relieved as I felt the cool breeze on my skin.

Then I felt something crawling on my leg. I thought it must be the fly that had been in the kitchen earlier. I felt the Holy Spirit tell me to look and make sure, but once again, I foolishly ignored Him. Without looking, I used my other foot to brush it off my leg.

That night, began one of the worst nights of my life. My heart pounded like it was trying to escape my chest, and every time I tried to lay down, I felt my lungs fill up with fluid till I had to sit up just to breathe. My head ached, and I felt almost like I had a severe case of the flu.

For three days, I was intensely ill.

I went back to the Lord and begged for His forgiveness, and asked Him to have mercy on me and help me. I push prayed until I heard Him give me directions. He told me not to go to the hospital, but instead was to take a certain number of vitamin C’s, B vitamins, and calcium pills, and to repeat this as He instructed.

I told Him that I could not, for I had run out of calcium pills several days ago, and was waiting for the shipment to arrive any day.

“Go look,” He said.

“It’s not there, Lord! I’d just be wasting my energy!”

“GO LOOK!”, He insisted.

Sigh. I knew my God was not going to give up. So I said “Fine! I’ll go look!”

It wasn’t where I usually keep it; it was sitting right at eye level, in front of the other bottles of assorted vitamins.

I was amazed. I figured that my husband had probably seen the shipment, and had begun unpacking it for me, but got called away before he could put them all away.

I thanked God, took the medicine, and slowly started to feel better.

A week later, and I was still suffering from the strange symptoms. So I went to the doctor.

He listened to my symptoms, looked at my swollen leg, (It looked like I had a half a grapefruit hiding under the skin,) and promptly diagnosed me with a black widow spider bite. He said I was fortunate that I had survived the poison, but that there was little he could do for me now, as the worst of the danger had passed. (The anti-venom was contraindicated this late in the game.)

So I went home, and researched on line what one could do for a black widow spider bite. To my amazement, one web site suggested taking large doses of vitamin C, B vitamins, and calcium, every few hours.

I thanked my husband for putting the bottle of calcium in my closet, but he said he didn’t do it. “Maybe one of the boys did it,” he replied. I figured he must be right.

But a week later, I got a notice in my email from the supplier of those calcium pills. “We are sorry to inform you, that the product you ordered has not yet shipped out, because it is still on back order…”

I was shocked. I went back into the closet to stare at the bottle of calcium pills. They looked no different from what I usually use. They were the same brand and dose as I usually keep on hand. But I took them and hugged them to my chest, and thanked God for sending them to me. When they ran out, I wanted to keep the bottle to remember it by, but the Lord said it might become an idol and that I was not to keep it, so I threw it out.

The symptoms lasted for close to a year. It is not something I would wish upon another living thing, ever.

This last night of Hanukkah, we remember what the Lord Jesus has done for us. This was one of them.

May you be blessed abundantly by the Lord God of all,
C. Dunamis

A Sign Of ME Is What You’re Looking For

April 7th, 2005

After several more days of enduring these horrid emotions,
(talk about dragging my feet!)
I finally go to God in PUSH prayer.

After 40 minutes or so, God tells me to go read
Through my old journal entries again.

“Which ones?”

“The ones on WAR.”

I had to go back to
Saturday, December 4th, 2004….

The old
“Tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree’
dream.

(https://dreamsofdunamis.wordpress.com/2012/10/01/a-simple-yellow-ribbon/

https://dreamsofdunamis.wordpress.com/2012/10/04/what-god-was-talking-about/)

But Lord!
To soften before hand
And be ready for him when he returns,
Waiting for him with arms open wide?
I don’t know about that one, Lord…

I think of the ‘Call Of Duty,
extension CD game (my husbands favorite PC game) entitled:
‘United Offensive.’
It talked about the players needing to work with
their other team members, together,
so they could win the war.
A sort of parable of those working for Christ
And the kingdom of God.

“Could you not think of those hurtful words or deeds
as Satan’s weapons
that he tricks your husband into using against you?

Oh Ma petite, the more time you spend with me,
the more satan’s weapons will have no effect on you.
They will be rendered useless.”

Lord, when one becomes wounded
In this spiritual war, what do you do?
Just ignore the wound?

“If the wound is not serious, then yes.
You continue on till the course of the day
allows you to see to your wound.
If the wound is serious, and you physically can not go on
Fighting the good fight,
Then you must stop and as soon as possible,
Come to Me, so it can be treated.”

Oh Lord, just the thought of someone you trust
Suddenly turning on you and becoming the enemy,
Is too hard to bear!
How can one ever really come to trust them?

“When they reveal themselves as the enemy
(or as untrustworthy,)
that is when they would be sick and in need of Me.
There are many different wounds on this battlefield.
With some, you can see their wound right away,
And see how it is incapacitating them.
And with others, it is hard to see that death
Working to end the life within them.
Both you can not see except through Me.

Remember; only Satan cares for war, ma petite.

Be strong with the Lord’s mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies and tricks of the Devil. For we are not fighting against people made of flesh and blood, but against the evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against those mighty powers of darkness who rule this world, and against wicked spirits in the heavenly realms.
Use every piece of God’s armor to resist the enemy in the time of evil, so that after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the sturdy belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News, so that you will be fully prepared. In every battle you will need faith as your shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed at you by Satan. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Pray at all times and on every occasion in the power of the Holy Spirit. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all Christians everywhere.
(Ephesians 6:10-18)

I repeat:

Pray at all times
and on every occasion
in the power of the Holy Spirit.
Stay alert
And be persistent
in your prayers…”
(Ephesians 6:18)

Lord, is the earth shaking a part of war?

Then I thought of the weapons used in war.
Particularly of bombs.

Yet I remained a cynic.
Do bombs cause the earth to shake like an earthquake Lord?
I sensed the answer was yes, but I doubted,
For I did not know enough about war to know for sure.

“Yes little one,” He replied. “Trust Me; they do.
Especially the ones that fall close to you.”

Oh But Lord!
I don’t want to keep on fighting with him!

“This is your only choice;
the path I’ve made for you,
or Satan’s.”
(God’s path, means to stay with my husband,
despite him being such a …ugh!?)

“Do you think you are the only one to feel the bomb, ma petite?What if BOTH of you got injured by the bomb?”

These wounds obtained in battle…
are they like the heat that purifies the silver?

“That depends upon the action of the believer.
Heat only softens & melts the silver;
I Am the only one,
Who can skim off the impurities from the top.

If they came to me, in trust and child-like faith,
Asking me to purify them
And remake them into My image,
Then yes, the heat will serve
To soften you for the remolding,
And I will purify the dross from your soul.

But if you do not, if you remain hard,
And do not come to me,
Then the heat will only leave the believer
With the scars of war.

The harder the metal is
and the more scarred the believer,
the longer it will take,
to transform their image into mine.”

*

(After another hour or so in P.U.S.H. prayer…)

Oh My Child,
If you only knew of the power
You hold in your hands!
Like an Olympic runner,
The torch of hope and light
Has been passed to you
& is now in your hands.
If you could only realize,
The power, hope, and light
You hold in your hands,
Then NOTHING would stand
In your way!
Nothing…”

A torch, Lord?

“Yes. Like a relay runner
in the old Olympic games.
Research the first races.
You will find that there were
Many dangers
That could befall the runner,
And stop him from finishing
The race.”

*

(I remained on my knees in prayer for several more hours,
Still trying to overcome the painful words and actions
Of my husband. How could he be so uncaring?)

“Oh ma petite! You NEED
to get rid of that
‘You versus me’ mentality.
You NEED
To not take it personally,
as an attack against you.
The ‘you versus me’ mentality
And taking it personally,
Is what will lead you into battle
Against your brother
And against ME.

Strive to be free from these leads.

Remember ma petite,
The battle is ever between you and evil,
NOT between you and another.
NEVER MAKE IT A PERSONAL MATTER!
*

One day, eventually,
if you spend enough time
in My presence,
ALL of your wounds will be healed.

Even if you do not ‘feel’ like praying,
and asking for your hearts to be softened,
you are to FORCE yourself to ask for it,
because this is My will for you.”

*

As I rise,
(tired of all this P.U.S.H. prayer,)
That insatiable emptiness begins to fill me.

“You know what that feeling is, right ma petite?”

Yeah., I knew what it was.
It’s what happens when one turns away from Christ.
The heart and soul aches,
From the lack of nourishment it had partaken of before.

“You see, little one, this is an ‘either or’.
There is only two possibilities,
once you have drank from My fountain.
As soon as you turn away from Me,
The ever-waiting darkness ascends
And begins to eat away your soul.”

Oh, how nice;
The proverbial rock or hard place.
What a choice. ( – Not!)
Turn from You, and
Face the pain of emptiness within,
Or turn to You, and
Face the pain of betrayal by one loved,
Yet again.
Not much choice there, Lord.
Not much choice at all.

“Can’t you trust me, ma petite?”

(Sigh.) No Lord, I can not.
I am too afraid of the pain.

So I remain here immobilized,
As the teeth of withdrawal settles in,
Biting at my soul.

FINALLY,
I sigh,
Repent,
And then go back to Praying Until Something Happens.

*

Is this PUSH prayer, (Pray Until Something Happens prayer,)
The only way to do this? (I do not like praying like this; it sometimes feels like I’m just wasting my time…)
“No. But it’s quicker.
How long did you want
To stay in the hurt?
How quickly
Do you wish to heal
From these ‘wounds of war’?

*

Realize,
where the pressure is coming from!
Satan.
When possible, TURN TOGETHER,
To the only one who can fight
Against the adversary and win.
ME.”

*

Lord, How do I put on
Your protective armor,
That you talk about
In Ephesians 6?
It says to use every piece of Your armor.
I know that the sword is the words of the Bible,
And that my faith in You (ie: JUST BELIEVE,)
Can be a shield that protects me from Satan’s attacks.
But ‘the body armor of God’s righteousness’…
How in heaven’s name can one put THAT on?
What IS it? I simply do not understand!

“Each time you come to me to pray,
a thin layer of this protective coating
is given to you. Kind of like the polyurethane
you coat the kitchen table with, to protect it
from getting damaged.
The more coats that cover you,
The more protected from hurt you will be.”

This coating…
Does some of it come from the Holy Spirit?

“Yes.”

*

lord, how can I tell
when my loved one is acting ‘foolish’?
Are there not signs that I could watch out for?
(So I could stop and go P.U.S.H. pray sooner,
In the hopes of preventing more hurt.)

“A person acting foolish will:

Try to control things and others
By rage, passive anger, sullen silence,
Whining, complaining, threatening suicide,
Give you the ‘silent treatment’,
Lie, cheat, steal, or charm you, or
play the role of a victim or martyr,
leaving you feeling abused.
They believe that if YOU were different,
There wouldn’t be a problem.
They act self-reliant and self-centered,
Complacent, selfish, sullen,
Quick-tempered, and or contemptuous.
They trust in themselves alone,
And stubbornly maintain their position
At all costs. (ie: they are always right.)
They mock at the thought
of making amends for their actions.
They create strife
because of their selfishness,
and cause destruction,
often with their tongue.
They stubbornly want to do
what they want to do,
(and they enjoy doing it,)
Even though it may endanger
Themselves or others.”

What are the signs of being in full repent?

“You will see an attitude of humility
(Not just agreeing that they were wrong.)
They will often look for ways to make amends.
(ie: Have the heart of a servant.)
When they are genuinely sorry,
They will not be pushy, or demanding
In getting their needs met.
If you end up getting more
Complaints, excuses, or conditions,
From them, chances are
That they are still not in full repent.”

Then I would need to go back and keep P.U.S.H. praying for them?

“Yes.”

*

But Lord, I’m so busy!
I don’t have that kind of time just to go P.U.S.H. pray!

“Go do your job as you must,
But give all your free time to Me,
In P.U.S.H. prayer.
Remember ma petite,
Whenever ‘something is not as it should be’,
It is then, that you are to STOP
And COME TO ME, and
PRAY UNTIL SOMETHING HAPPENS.
This something,
Could be your loved one’s heart
changing and softening to Me and to you,
Or even a sense of peace that finally comes over you.

A sign of ME, is what you’re looking for…”

* * * *

A Simple Yellow Ribbon

(Journal entry of a dream I had, Dec. 4th, 2004)

The other night, before I went to bed, I thought of those married to people in the armed forces, or even to those in jail, paying for their crimes.

And then I thought of my husband…and how I’d feel if he had done a heavy-weighted (in my eyes) sin, (like infidelity, murder, or for example – enlisting in the army without even talking to me first,) and I thought about how hard, so very, very hard, it would be for me to forgive him. I felt a sharp pain in my gut, just thinking about it.

But welcome him home with open arms? No way! He’d have to EARN that kind of love and trust back from me again.

Then as I fell asleep, I dreamed that I was in a war of sorts’, constantly having to fight off the ‘bad guys’. (Evil.)

As I finally vanquished and scarred off my enemies, I stumbled back to where I knew my home was, for rest and renewal. I knew it would not be the last time that I’d have to fight this evil.

On the way, I couldn’t help but wonder, if I’d still be welcomed back home, after all the mistakes I had made since the last time I had been home. They were too numerous to count, and some were incredibly stupid of me, I knew. Some fights I had won, others I had lost miserably, and some I had even instigated myself.

Then I found myself on a bus, filled with other people, and telling the bus driver, (and others near me,) about my thoughts of insecurity and doubt…
*
I’m comin’ home, I’ve done my time
Now I’ve got to know what is and isn’t mine
If you received my letter telling you I’d soon be free
Then you’ll know just what to do
If you still want me
Tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree
It’s been three long years
Do you still want me?
If I don’t see a ribbon round the old oak tree
I’ll stay on the bus
Forget about us
Put the blame on me
If I don’t see a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree…
Bus driver, please look for me
Cause I couldn’t bear to see what I might see
I’m really still in prison
And my love, she holds the key
A simple yellow ribbon’s what I need to set me free
I wrote and told her please…
Tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree
It’s been three long years
Do you still want me
If I don’t see a ribbon round the old oak tree
I’ll stay on the bus
Forget about us
Put the blame on me
If I don’t see a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree…
Now the whole darn bus is cheering
And I can’t believe I see
A hundred yellow ribbons round the old oak tree
I’m coming home…

(*Tie A Yellow Ribbon © 1972 By Irwin Levine and L. Russel Brown, sung by Tony Orlando & Dawn.)
*
When I seen how many ribbons were around the tree, I fell to my knees, crying hard. I still couldn’t believe, that my love still loved me, and I knew it was not of my doing. And when I stood in the yard, our yard, under that tree, and felt the strong embrace of my loved one’s arms surrounding me so tight, I cried all the harder, with humbleness, thankfulness, and amazement. That my loved one would still love me with a love as strong as this…it was a MIRACLE. I knew then, that I could go on, and that I would be strong enough to continue to ‘fight the good fight’ that I’d find yet again before me.

The tears in my dream finally woke me up. (With the end part of the song stuck in auto-playback in my mind.)

It had been YEARS since I had heard that song. (Good heavens; how old WAS I when I last heard that song?!? Ten?!)

So…
“O.K. Lord,…mind telling me why I remember that song NOW?”
And then He let me see a different view and purpose to the old 1973 song.
I had always thought of it, (as a child,) as a song about an incarcerated criminal of some kind. But here I was seeing it, as an everyday – everyone kind of person, trying to do the will of his God, trying to fight off the various demons of hell, and failing many of the times, till finally, he’s granted a rest, and returns home.

Just like me with my husband, amazed that he could ‘still want me’, with all my faults and weaknesses.

“Think of all those ribbons around that tree, ma petite,” my Lord says to me. “Not just one, but a hundred! Now, do you think this is the picture of a lover who’s waiting for the beloved to EARN the love back?”

My head hung down, ashamed. “No Lord,” I replied.

“Just think of the kind of transformational power that comes from this kind of love, ma petite.”

“But Lord,” I argued with Him, “I could not love like that! It feels like I’d just be setting myself up for the next abuse!”

“Remember ma petite,” He gently points out to me, “This person was returning home with his heart in full repent. He KNEW he had hurt his lover; he had already ‘put the blame’ on himself, no matter what the outcome would be. I’m not saying that you should welcome home with open arms and ribbons, the love that still insists they’re right and you’re wrong, or the ones who are still foolish, (ie: full of themselves,) and choosing to continue on in their way. These, still have more fighting to do, before they are free enough, to come home.

I NEED you to love your husband like this ma petite. Whenever he is in ‘repent’. When he’s not, PRAY for his well-fare.”

I asked God, a little later…”Who are those on the bus cheering?” (I was thinking they were His angels, or maybe those followers already up there with Him in heaven.)

“Not just those, ma petite, but those who are also on their way ‘home’.”

Then I realized, just how powerful and encouraging this would be, to others also on their way home, to see such a welcome home for someone just like them…

“What are those ribbons, Lord?”

“Unconditional love.”

I thought for a moment, before adding on, “mine would be colored red though, Lord, right?” (Red is my most favorite color.)

I sensed Him chuckle, and nod a yes. “That they would be ma petite. Made so just for you.”

Thank you for loving me like that, Lord. Thank you for loving me anyways…

* * * *

(To be continued…)