Reliving Old Grief

 

I dreamed of my mother again,
And of my grandmother.

I was back in my old childhood house, living out of a suitcase,
And having to face my mother’s death again.

My uncle was also there with me;
I sensed that he had been sent there to help me recover from my mother’s death, and was praying for me.

I kept wandering around the house looking for something familiar,
Something of comfort, but could find nothing.

I kept a blanket around me (I was only in my undergarments
Underneath,) and thought to get dressed, but even the clothes in my suitcase
Were unfamiliar.

I seen the odd collections of ceramics and plates that were still unfinished, (she liked to make them,) but they were things I had not seen before.

I sensed it was time to give them away.

I kept crying, the grief overwhelming me
Consuming from the inside out.

I tried to go through the closet to the other side of the house
Like I used to when I was young, but it had long been blocked off.

“I miss you so much mother!” I exclaimed to the closet wall.
“And I miss you too, grandma & grandpa!”

“But I miss my mama most of all!”

No matter how hard I tried,
I just kept crying.

I then woke up.

*

When I awoke,
I kept hearing the tune of a song, (a top 40 song,) that keeps repeating itself:
“I keep bleeding…Keep keep bleeding…love…I get cut up inside…”

I looked up the date of when my mother died.

Several years ago this Thursday.

Figures.
Maybe that’s why I dreamed of her again.

“That,” I felt God reply,
“and the tulips that are sitting on top of your kitchen counter,
Constantly reminding you of your grandmother.
They help too.”

I thought of my mother and how she lived in the same house as her parents,
And wondered how she coped with all the memories of her parents
Constantly surrounding her.

My heart remained heavy though,
As I relived the grief from my mother’s death.

“This is an attack from satan, Ma Petite,” my God replied.

“A dream of my mother?” I was a little confused of this.
“What’s wrong with having a dream of my mom?”

“This dream, brought you grief, pain, and loneliness, all over again.
Which kingdom is better served, bringing you that?”

True; it was hard to continue on with life when you’re struck down again with that ‘death grief’. Yes, reliving old grief definitely was an attack from satan….

*

Matthew 6:34 KJV “Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.”

Psalm 23:1-6 (KJV) “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.”

John 14:27 (KJV) “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”

 

The kingdom Of Spirits

There is a famous wine company, (in the top twenty five of the world,) that was looking for a few summer interns. They searched among the thousands upon thousands of students at the most prestigious colleges across the United States. Twenty five of the top performing students were chosen, flown in, sheltered, wined and dined, and then given a tour through their processing plants, and then through a battery of interviews with the higher ups in the company.

One of my boys was one of the chosen.

At first, the interviews and mixers went well; my son clearly had the advantage over the other students. He knew what to say and when to say it, and had no hang ups or nervousness in speaking to those interviewing him. As a home schooled student, he was used to interacting with many different ages and even with people in authority over him. Questions that stumped the other candidates were easy for him to answer. Once he would give his answer, the others chimed in with likewise answers. He was known by those within the company to be the favored applicant from California.

Then he toured the processing plant.

As soon as the bus carrying all the students drove onto the land, my son could see all the demons. They were so utterly numerous, that it left him speechless. They were vicious demons, some looking like fighting warrior men, while others were animals such as bulls with large horns or dragons with sharp claws and teeth. Others were so black and covered with filth, that he knew they must have come from active satanic worship, from somewhere on the property.

As he walked past the vats of wine and hard alcohol, (this surprised him; he had no idea that they also made hard liquor,) he could see shadows darting in between the containers. He seen the workers there, with their own demons attached to them, following them wherever they went. He bound up the demons that came near him, and the angels that surrounded him were very, very angry at the demons. They shielded my son from the demons attacks.

He described the place as a bus depot for demons. It was a place for the demons to laugh and party with each other, while they waited to hitch a ride in one of the bottles, and then into a human host. Gambling, addiction, pornography, and of course alcoholism, all the vices were there, just waiting to be imbibed.

On his final interview, he was to meet with the head of the department. As soon as he seen the man, he knew that he was a practicing satanist. There were so many demons on this man, that he had to struggle to make out the face of the man throughout all the black swirling smoke that covered him. When my son shook hands with him, my sons hands started to burn. The burning didn’t stop until he left the property. The man spoke very fast and very quietly, almost with a hiss, making it hard to hear him. He refused to repeat anything he said, or answer any questions my son asked him about working there. The interview was a total failure.

When my son came home and walked in to the room, he looked extremely tired. He asked me to bless him. I told him I would in just a minute, (I was in the middle of doing something,) but the Lord Jesus stopped me in my tracks. “When he asks you to bless him, what does that mean?”

Demons!

So I stopped what I was doing and went to get the blessed olive oil to bless him.

As I got closer to him, I could see some demons still tagging on to him. “Oh my!” I said to my son, “I see you have some stragglers on you!”

I bound them up in the name of Jesus, before even getting to the oil, because I did not want them to do something to stop me from blessing him.

As soon as the oil touched his throat, my son stumbled and fell forward, but I was able to catch him. I said “I cast you out in the name of Jesus!” I was angry at the demons and my voice showed this. “Trouble him no more!”

But for the first time in my life, the demons answered me back. “Only if HE,” they sneered, “troubles US no more!”
I gasped in shock, and thought ‘you don’t have the right to tell us what we can or can not do!’ So I answered them, “THAT will be for my Lord to decide!”

Then they left.

He told me that they had bothered him on the way home, and he kept casting them out, but it was difficult to get rid of them all. The blessed olive oil was needed to do the job.

He complained of his sinuses hurting, and of feeling like he was coming down with the flu. I realized then, that the seeds of those demons were still in my son. As he had stood there in that alcohol processing plant, and breathed in all those horrible fumes, he was breathing in all those spores too. So I had him use the nebulizer to breathe in some colloidal silver, to kill off those nasty spores. He said that his eyes began to hurt, from looking at all the demons. So we prayed that the memory of witnessing such horror would go away.

My son assumed that because that final interview was so awful, he would not be getting a job offer from the company. So he didn’t even send the company the standard thank you letter for the interview.

But weeks later, he was offered a summer intern position in a different department. The person who offered him the job, is the same one he would be working for. He flat out told this person that he didn’t think he could work there, because he refused to drink alcohol. The person told him that it would not be a problem; he did not drink alcohol either.

Then this man broke all protocol, (he could have gotten into such trouble for this!,) and asked my son if it was because of his religion. My son heard the Lord tell him that it was o.k. to tell him his religion, so he told him that he was a Christian, and that he didn’t believe in drinking alcohol.

The man’s voice perked up at this, and he said, “so am I! I don’t believe in it either!”

So they got to talking, and by the end of the conversation, my son was torn. He gave him the weekend to decide if he should take the job or not.

On one hand, the job itself would be a bonus; he would get to work with some artificial intelligence, which he has dreamed of doing for years. (This son of mine dreams of building a robot that believes in Jesus.) It would be his first foray into that kind of experience.

On the other hand, dealing with the demons would be a chore. However, he was assured that the office he’d be working at is on a different compound, and has nothing to do with the main one he had visited.

But the deciding factor came when he had prayed and asked the Lord what he should do. It was then that the Lord told him that He wanted him to go work there for the summer, to be there for the man. For some unknown reason, God wanted him there to help him. So he said yes, and accepted the job.

As a side note, a few weeks later my husband had asked me to wrap some bottles of wine to give as gifts to his clients. As I was wrapping them, my hands started to burn. I had to stop because the burning became so severe. I asked one of my sons if he could see anything, and he said yes, and that it was the wine that had the demons in it. This surprised me, for this wine was from a very small and private vineyard that was owned by a Christian home schooling friend of my husband.

I share this post with some apprehension, for I know there are many Christians out there who drink, and they can get quite upset when their drink is in question. Yet from all that we have seen in the unseen world, liquor of any kind, yes even wine from a Christian, is filled with demons.

*

(In the bible, the word wine can refer to fermented grape juice, or just grape juice that is not yet fermented. Our family has seen no demons in plain aged grape juice. It’s when man tries to change it so that the alcohol level is increased, that trouble seems to occur.)

Proverbs 20:1 – Wine [is] a mocker, strong drink [is] raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise.

(Mocking and raging are demons.)

Ephesians 5:18 – And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit;

Romans 14:21 – [It is] good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor [any thing] whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak.

1 Thessalonians 5:22 (KJV) Abstain from all appearance of evil.

Still Here

It has been hard, going through all of this. Since my last post, I have been hit with many attacks, physical, spiritual, and emotional. I thought for sure it was the demon of diabetes, but the tests came back negative. The Great Physician diagnosed me with inflammation instead. I am claiming my healing. Please keep praying for me.

When starting this blog, I had promised the Lord that I would try to at least do one post a month. But during these illnesses, satan managed to pull me from my promise and my purpose.

The first yank came when I went on line to answer comments. I found so many that were so negative, that it was disheartening.

I’ve had my share of nasty comments (usually from unbelievers, wiccans, and satanists,) to the point that they no longer trouble me. I don’t even read their comments anymore; I return to them unopened spiritually whatever they send to me, and then delete their comments.

No, what hit me, were all the comments from other believers. All I had asked for, on my last two posts, was for prayer. Yet by far, the majority of the comments made by other believer’s, were ones of condemnation or unbelief. They wanted to know what I would do if I wasn’t healed. Some wanted to know what horrible sin I had done to receive such judgement from God. Others believed that it was God’s Will for me to suffer, and that I should just accept it. I was dumbfounded at their beliefs. Haven’t they read the book of Job? Have they forgotten all the scriptures that state God’s wonderful Will for His children? Didn’t they read the New Testament where it shows that Jesus didn’t turn people away who had sought him out for help, by stating that nope, sorry, but it was the will of the Father for them to remain sick?

There were other comments such as these, that satan tried to use to instill doubt within me. I struggled to clung to the scriptures. My favorite is Jeremiah 29:11: “I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a hope and a future.” When wondering what was from satan or not, the scripture John 10:10 pointed it out clearly: “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” Trying to kill my faith, steal my vision, and destroy my mobility with a stroke was obviously from satan and not my God!

The second pull was satan whispering in my ear, telling me that I no longer held the right to blog, for I was no longer standing in victory. It was probably best to wait till I had complete victory over all my illnesses before posting again.

Then lastly, I began to doubt just how much good the blog was doing for the kingdom of God.

So I decided to give it up. I shut down the computer and crawled away.

But the Lord Jesus, in all His mercy, reminded me of a dream I had long ago…

(To be continued….)
*
“Then they cry unto the Lord in their trouble, and he saveth them out of their distresses.” (Psalm 107:19 KJV)

“Thou shalt also decree a thing, and it shall be established unto thee: and the light shall shine upon thy ways.” (Job 22:28 KJV)

“For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith.” (Mark 11:23 KJV)

“Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.” (Mark 11:24 KJV)

“But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.”( Isaiah 53:5 KJV)

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” (Proverbs 18:21 KJV)

“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” (Ephesians 4:29 KJV)

“There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health.” (Proverbs 12:18 KJV)

“Bless the Lord, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits: Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases; Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with loving kindness and tender mercies; Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle’s.” (Psalm 103:1-5 KJV)

“Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him? (Matthew 7: 7-11 KJV)