The Biggest Event In This Man’s Life

A dream…

This time, I am an angel of the Lord,
A recording angel,
Sent to accompany one of the healing angels of the Lord on a mission of mercy and grace, and to answer a believer’s prayer.

We are in one of the top hospitals in the world,
In the cardiologist department.

Before me, is the head of the department,
An African-American doctor well known for his newest advanced treatments in cardiology. (He was very proud of himself, having come so far despite those who had been prejudiced against him because of his ethnicity.)

Also with him in his office, is his wife and son.

His wife is still quite pretty despite her older age, dressed in the latest of fashions, and her glossy hair smoothed out into a shoulder-length bob, and his son, a teenager, only fourteen years old, was with her. The son looked like he had taken a short break from his prep school, for he still had on the sharp looking dark blue pants and crisp white shirt, tie, and blazer that was the uniform of the private school.

It was noon, and the man’s wife and children had come to see if they could pull him away from his work for just an hour or so for lunch.

I watched, as they began to argue, for the man had already forbidden his wife and child to come and trouble him while he was working. But his wife still pleaded with him, telling him that it was the only place that he would even stop to listen to them, and since it was during his lunch break, she felt he should be able to spend some time with them.

The boy then picked up a handful of fat tongue depressors that had been sitting on the cardiologist’s desk, and began stuffing them into his suit pocket. The man became quite upset at this, and told him to stop and put them back. His son then told him that he needed them for his school project, as regular Popsicle sticks were too thin for his use. The father then returned to fighting with the mother, blaming her for interrupting his day and trying to shame her into leaving. But she would not.

I knew the man would not leave and go to lunch with his wife, for he felt could not; he had pompously just told his staff that they could take their breaks, and that he alone would stay and watch over the patients for the next half an hour. It wasn’t like the unit was full; there was only four patients in his unit, and he was very confident that he could handle it all by himself.

Of the four patients, one was his closest friend, a man he had grown up with and gone to school with. He was most worried about him, for he exhibited the worst of symptoms, and looked to be on his last breath. He hated the thought that there was not more that he could do for him, and he feared that his best friend would die under his care.

Of the remaining three patients, there was another one that he felt shouldn’t even have been admitted into his care, for he felt his case was not serious enough to warrant his attention. He remained there under his care, as a favor to another, who was on the board of directors. (He resented this.)

Suddenly, as the man and wife continued to argue, one of the heart monitors begins to fluctuate. I waited for the man to stop arguing with his wife, and go check it out, but he was not paying any attention to anything except his wife.

I went into the room of this man’s best friend, and watched the heart monitor completely change, and listened to the man warmly chuckle and laugh with joy. My angel partner was doing his work on him as he had been ordered to do by the great I AM. The man was being completely healed and strengthened, and was being told what he was to do with the rest of his life. He was to give up his previously self-centered lifestyle and serve the one who had just saved him. This pleased the man very much, for he had always wondered in the back of his mind, if there really was a God somewhere up in the heavens, and now he was getting all the proof he needed that there was. I listened to his voice, (it reminded me of James Earl Jones,) and was warmed by his enthusiasm upon receiving his instructions. I kept thinking that the cardiologist should be in this room witnessing this, but when I went back out to check in on him, he was still too engrossed in arguing with his wife.

This grieved me greatly, (as it did the Lord,) for I knew that he was missing the biggest event in this man’s life. His eternal life, and those of his family’s, was at stake. If he had been in that room, witnessing all that transpired, he would have become a believer in Christ. His then changed behavior, would have caused his wife and son to also become a believer in Jesus. But because the man had not taken the few minutes that was needed the night before, to tell his wife something that showed he still cared for her, and ask his son how he was doing in school, he was now missing the most important moment of his entire life, and even the most important moment of his friend’s life.

For from this moment on, the cardiologist would begin to grow apart from his closest friend, because he would not believe what had just happened to him, and would think his best friend was crazed. His friend would try to tell him what had really transpired in that room, but he would never come to believe it. He would peruse past the monitor’s print outs and see the return to normal heart beats, but would have no reasoning for it, except for his friend probably following his regiment so closely.

Just moments after my angel of healing partner left the cardiologist’s best friend, the other man’s heart monitor, the one who the cardiologist felt should not have even been there, began to beat erratically, and then flat lined. I went back out to check on the cardiologist, but once again, he was too involved in arguing with his wife, (trying to be self-righteous,) that he completely missed the other man’s heart alarm going off.

This saddened both me and the Lord, for we knew that all it would take to save this man, was a defibrillator  to his chest, and all would have been well again. (No prayers were ever said for this man, and he was a staunch atheist, so we did not intervene.)

But the man ended up dying. And as this man was not a believer, we knew his soul would now go down into hell. Had he lived, we had hope that he still, somehow, might have turned from his wicked ways and come to the Lord, but his time had run out and now it was too late.

The cardiologist stopped arguing with his wife, when he seen his best friend calmly walk out of his room and into his office to say goodbye. The cardiologist strongly argued then with him, that despite him felling better, he should stay in the hospital under observation, just in case his symptoms should return. But he then told him what had happened, and that he no longer had need of the sick bed, for the Lord On High had healed him.

His wife also then turned away, and with her son, left her husband there at the hospital, for she knew then that no matter what, he would not go out with them for lunch that day.

After his wife and friend left, the cardiologist checked up on the rest of his patients, and discovered the now dead man that had been forced under his care. He reviewed the records, and soon realized that he probably would have lived had he not been so distracted by his wife and son. His guilt was so strong that he never told another person at the hospital of what he had let happen, but he went home that night and blamed his wife for the man’s death. After that, the wife soon left him, and sued him for divorce, and received custody of his son.

I then woke up.

*

1 Corinthians 7:3-4 (1599 Geneva)

“Let the husband give unto the wife due benevolence, and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not the power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not the power of his own body, but the wife.”

1 Corinthians 7:16 (1599 Geneva)
“For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thine husband? Or what knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?”

Malachi 2:14-16 ESV
“But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”

Colossians 3:19 ESV
Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

Proverbs 31:10 ESV
An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.

John 15:13 (KJV)
“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”

Luke 5:24-26 (KJV)
“…I say unto thee, Arise, and take up thy couch, and go into thine house. And immediately he rose up before them, and took up that whereon he lay, and departed to his own house, glorifying God. And they were all amazed, and they glorified God, and were filled with fear, saying, We have seen strange things to day.”

* * * *

His Imperfect Wife

My heart drags to post this journal entry here,
Yet the nudging from my Lord and Savior to do so,
Have only strengthened with time and prayer,
and will not go away.

I have been told that there are those out there
Who are currently struggling with issues like these.
So these next few posts, (this one and the past two included,)
Are written for you.

A word of warning concerning this post:
War is ugly, no matter what side you’re on.

Journal entry: April 3rd, 2005

(Note: The past three days I’ve been very sick with bronchitis.
The day after this journal entry, my husband also became sick with this same bug…)

I knew the peace between us wouldn’t last through this illness.

My husband kept asking me to do things,
For him and with him, as if I wasn’t even sick.

I have always told him, (every time I’ve been sick,)
That when I’m sick, all plans are on hold.
No going out for a night on the town,
Getting together with another couple,
Cleaning or re-modeling projects,
EVERYTHING.
But does he listen and take this to heart?

No.

When I awoke today, I felt so miserable,
That when my husband asked me
what I was going to do today,
I told him in all seriousness:
TO BREATHE.

He then asks me questions
Designed to get me to do his will;

“Can you log on to the prescription web site?
I need to access your RX history for taxes.”
“O.K.”, I said, figuring I could do this while I worked on eating my just-made and still-warm lunch.

But problems are encountered in logging on,
And before I knew it, he had me checking up
On two other items of paperwork, as well.
Then, as I’m still struggling to sort out these paper problems,
He clicks something on his Palm Pilot PDA,
(Presumably checking something off his ‘to do’ list,)
then shuts it off & sets it down, turns to me and says:
“O.K…., now, do you want me to help you
clear out and vacuum this room?”

I looked at him first, to see if he was joking,
And when I seen that he was not,
I raised my voice just a notch,
And said very emphatically, “NO!”

He frowned. “Well why not?”

I was so upset by this question,
That I felt my mind buzz blank for a moment,
Before I gave him my answer.
“Because I haven’t even been able
to pause from doing all the other things
you’ve been asking me to do,
to even have a bite of my own lunch!
So, no! I don’t want to! I’m going to eat first!”

He then had the grace to look a bit sheepish,
As he realized the truth of my words, and then backed off enough to let me finish eating my now cold lunch.

Oi! HOW this man could even understand me,
with my voice sounding like a nasally scuba diver
speaking under 30 feet of water, I’ll never know!

Once I finished eating, and finished doing the work
he had requested me to do, we begin clearing out the room.
Mind you, this is heavy once or twice a year cleaning
That I’m trying to do, and to top it off,
My allergies were working overtime,
From all the dust, cat hair, and pollen.
(He had the window open for ‘fresh’ air.)
So by the time we actually came close to finishing,
I was very weak, wheezing, and gasping for air,
And I then stopped and asked my husband to do the rest,
(vacuuming under my desk,)
for I told him that I was on my last molecule of energy,
and I felt like I was about to collapse.
Grumbling, he took the vacuum cleaner
and finished the chore,
but let me know how upset he was,
that I had not told him sooner
that I would not be able to then go downstairs
and fry up the purchased trout for our dinner.

This made me angry again, and I let him know,
That he should not have planned (For certain,)
For me to make or do anything when I’m sick!

He responds, by telling me that I should have told him
Yes or no, yesterday when he mentioned it to me in passing.

(Like how many times would you like me to tell you that
I’M SICK, AND ALL PLANS ARE OFF?!?)

But of course, I go downstairs
(after resting a moment or two,)
and go make the fish for dinner.

Later on that night, right before
(while I’m still weak & struggling to simply breathe,)
he points out on the calendar,
the nights he’s working late for this week.
(Oh No!, I think to myself,
But I need you here when I’m this sick,
To give me a break from the kids,
So I can get some rest!)
He then tells me that he’s not sure
if he should cancel class for Friday, or not.
(At the time of this writing, my husband was a professor at a local college.)
I ask him why he would,
And he tells me that he can combine the last two lessons,
And then give the students a break on Friday.
(Oh, I think to myself, that would be nice for them.)
But then he goes and does the crass and uncaring
(dare I say unthinking?) thing of reminding me
that we would need this Friday off,
in order for us to go camping this weekend.

(AAAGGGHHH!!!!)

I looked at him in shock, anger, and disbelief,
And repeated once again to him,
That no, we can’t go camping this weekend,
BECAUSE I’M SICK!

This time, he slams the calendar down on the desk,
And snarled “that’s right! We can’t, can we!”
He then looks at me fully and says:
“I am so ANGRY that you are sick!”

(Well!!! HE’S angry that I’m sick!!
What am I ? HAPPY? I certainly didn’t choose
To get this sickness, and spend my next two months
Just struggling to breathe in an ocean of green slimy mucus!!!)

“Well then,” I told him, “the next time the neighbor boy
comes over to play with the kids,
and he’s still sounding and acting like he’s still pretty sick,
you’ll know what to tell him!”

(My husband had always de-valued my concerns,
and shut me up when I told him that I don’t want our kids
to play with other sick kids, while they’re still sick.
I don’t know why, But he seems to believe that our children (and me?!?) are like superheroes or something,
Impervious to bacteria, viruses, or colds.
He let them play all together, and now we are all sick
with what this boy had. And so now he blames ME?!?)

As he walks away, my mind is already deciding
That now we are separate again,
And that I will hold myself apart from him,
And not sleep too close to him tonight.

But then God
(yes, He was still there, – amazing, isn’t it?)
reminded me of the futility of such a move.
It would only end up being
a waste of spent time & energy.

But I couldn’t just let it all go, either.
So I said, – much more calmly, “You know, …that really hurt!”

“I know,” he replied with resignation
yet still some anger, in his voice.

And I know, that sooner or later,
With my P.U.S.H. prayers, (Praying Until Something Happens,)
My husband’s heart will soften,
And he will come to terms yet again,
with his imperfect wife.

So, now, I simply have to keep reminding myself
(as Satan tries to incite me against
such a ‘selfish’ & ‘unloving’ husband,)
that this too, shall pass,
and that this is not a big enough issue
to rip our family apart over.

Once again however,
I am reminded of what happens to me
When I take my eyes off Jesus,
And refocus them on my husband.
That man would keep me doing his will
running me ragged, telling me to just keep going,
And that I’ll be just fine. Vitamins? Medicines?
Nah, you don’t really need them.
Rest? What for? Your not REALLY that sick, are you?
Oh come on! Why do you have to let
A little virus bring you down like that?
Just ignore it, and it will go away!

Oh yeah.

They say, that to look at God, is life. And in my case,
I think the literal interpretation would fit.
Cause to keep my eyes on my husband,
And submit to my husband IN EVERYTHING,
Instead of checking in with my God FIRST,
Would mean death for me, in more ways than one….
*

TO BE CONTINUED…

*

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.

(Colossians Chapter 3, verses 18-19, 23-24, KJV)

* * * *

The Free Gift Of Food

Another dream…

 

In this one,
I am a single woman in her mid thirty’s or so,
In a group of maybe fifty or so people.
In my other life, (when things were normal,)
I used to be a nurse/caregiver/systems administrator of some kind,
Or at least in that kind of field.

But that life had passed, and now survival was what was most important.

Our little group was isolated somehow,
The weather was temperate, and the sun seemed to be always shining.
We had water to drink, but no food.

People were fighting and killing each other,
Over just the thought of a tiny scrap of food.

Seeing this, caused anger to well up from within me,
For I knew it was unnecessary and a complete waste.

I tried to stop them from bickering,
But no one would listen to me.

So, disgusted, I turned and left the group,
Grabbed a small hand shovel, a gun, some bowls, and a flat gardening cart,
And went off a short ways and began to pray to Jesus.

The Holy Spirit soon led me to a place not too far,
Where the ground still had some vegetation growing from it,
And as I prayed, the Holy Spirit led me to pull up some of the vegetation.
He blessed me with potatoes and carrots.

I cooked them, divided them into individual servings,
A half of a potato, and a small baby carrot sitting on top of it, sat in each bowl.
I filled up the bowls and the cart the best I could,
And with one hand I pulled the cart towards the group of fighting people, and with the other, I held a bright silvery shiny hand gun.

They smelled the food first, and came towards me,
With crazed eyes and open mouths.

The closest ones were about to fall upon the cart and eat everything on it,
When I pointed my gun on them, and told them that I would shoot them if they did.

This caused them to pause. I could tell what they were thinking; was her gun really loaded? Would she really shoot me if it was?

I then told them that there was enough food for everyone,
But that we all had to take our turns eating, and that the children and those weakest,
Would eat first.

They argued with me, claiming there was not that many bowls on the cart to feed everyone. But I told them that there was more where that came from, and that they would simply have to trust me, or face my gun.

Others upon hearing this, (especially the men who had children,) helped to keep everyone there under control, which allowed me to distribute the food on the cart to the mother’s first, making sure they gave it to their children and not themselves, and then giving it to those too weak to move.

I then went back and made more of the potatoes and carrots, and I even found and added in a spoonful of some kind of milk or creamer, with a sprinkling of some kind of dried seasoning (parsley?) on top. The people mashed them all together, till it smelled and tasted like mashed potatoes.

I kept doing this, till everyone had eaten. I then ate some myself.

This caused some to be upset, and claimed that I must have eaten a double portion.
But I told them that I had not yet eaten, so they let me eat a serving myself.

This process took the whole day.

This became a routine for me; I got up in the morning, gave thanks and praise to my God Jesus, went to where He led me, pulled up the roots that he told me to grab a hold of, and then baked the carrots and potatoes, and sprinkled more of the powder on it, and gave it to all to eat.

There were times when I would give my portion to someone else who needed it more, and this caused others around me to become distrustful of me. So the group made sure that there was always an assistant with me. I thought it was to help me, but in reality, it was to make sure I wasn’t eating more than my fare share.

I remember telling one of these helpers, a girl a bit younger than I, that I found it ironic, that in my other life, I had been overweight, and had tried so very hard to loose weight, but could not, and that it was this extra weight that had allowed me to survive for so long.

The helpers lost interest, when they realized that I was not stealing extra food, and that I was indeed telling the truth.

Before I gave the food to the people, I would ask them to please join hands, and then I’d lead them in prayer, thanking Jesus for the food, and then blessing it. This was not always easy, as they all gathered themselves on the long rows of picnic benches to eat, and those farther away could not hear me speak.

Those who were closer to me, quickly complied, but those farther away from me, (ones who had trouble hearing me,) did not. This bothered me, but I didn’t know what else I could do to make them comply. I had decided that all my prayers to Jesus, would be out loud for anyone to hear, and in this way, I would be a living example of my faith in Christ. I figured that seeing this, others too, would be drawn to Christ.

But so far it wasn’t working out that way.
  
There was just one of my assistants, who at my insistence, tried to pray to Jesus and then listen to the Holy Spirit, while searching for food, but she kept pulling up weeds and soon gave up.

Our group of people kept slowly growing and growing, as more people would stumble into our camp. Most who did, were too weak to do anything except accept the free gift of food given to them in grateful astonishment.

Until one day, a young man, a stranger to our group, stumbled upon me digging up the food from the ground. I could tell he had journeyed long, and he was crazed from lack of food. I tried to promise him that he would get some of the food, but he refused to even listen to me. I pulled out my gun, (still always kept by my side,) but even the sight of this did not stop him. He pulled out a knife and ran towards me. I shot him in self defense, hoping the bullet would slow but not kill him. But he had also managed to injure me, before the others had arrived. They quickly overpowered the young man, and disarmed him. They then tended to our wounds. 

I could hear some of them talking to the new guy, telling him how wrong he was, and that I would have defended his right to eat with my own life. I could hear the disgust in their voices, as they confronted his disbelief. His fighting was ‘such a waste’, as they put it. The man could hardly take in what was being told to him. So, many of the other newer members of our group, came to him to share with him how I had given each of them, a stranger, free food. He simply couldn’t believe it all. Why would the woman so freely give to him?

I had wanted to speak up, and tell him that it was because of Jesus, but I found I could not, due to my injury.

I heard them then, tell the man, that it was simply what I did, and that that was the way I was.

My heart ached then, hearing this. What happened to Jesus? Did these people really think that it was all me and not God? I heard a moaning sound of grief, and realized it must have come from me. Another more specialized in first aid suddenly turned and came up to me to examine me closer. When she spoke, her voice sounded very concerned. “Guys…she needs help! Hey! I need help here!”

It was the last thing I heard before loosing consciousness.
I then woke up.
*  *  *  *