Thinking Of Leaving Your Spouse?

I Had a dream the other night.

This was a dream, where me and my husband separated shortly after we were married.

I went to New York City, met another high fashion artist, (he could have been an actual sculptor or painter artist, I’m not sure.) We got married and stayed together for a few years, and then we separated. During this time, I became an unbeliever. After the trial separation period, we divorced.

I then went from long-term relationship to long-term relationship, each one lasting a few months to a few years. In some of the instances, I married them, and then divorced them.

I was great at matchmaking all my friends, (I had good enough friends to call them my ‘sisters’,) but wasn’t so great at it when it came to myself.

In my latest relationship, we had taken a break from each other, (Which is how my marriage to my first husband ended, by the way,) and I was in a nice upscale apartment in New York city, a high rise of some kind, close to the financial district. I was unpacking, and wondering why I always ended up by myself, and dancing around in my apartment, singing to a song called “Bad Case Of Loving You” by George Palmer, from 1979.

A hot summer night, fell like a net
I’ve gotta find my baby yet
I need you to soothe my head
Turn my blue heart to red

Doctor, doctor give me the news
I’ve got a bad case of loving you
No pill’s gonna cure my ill
I’ve got a bad case of loving you

A pretty face don’t make no pretty heart
I learned that buddy, from the start
You think I’m cute, a little bit shy
Momma, I ain’t that kind of guy

Doctor, doctor give me the news
I’ve got a bad case of loving you
No pill’s gonna cure my ill
I’ve got a bad case of loving you

Woo oohh

I know you like it, you like it on top
Tell me momma are you gonna stop

You had me down, 21 to zip
Smile of Judas on your lip
Shake my fist, knock on wood
I’ve got it bad and I’ve got it good

Doctor, doctor give me the news
I’ve got a bad case of loving you
No pill’s gonna cure my ill
I’ve got a bad case of loving you

(In the dream, when the song said ” I know you like it, you like it on top”, this was not meant to be sexual, but was instead a comment of how the person always liked to be in control and on top of things in a relationship.)

I could see my reflection in the mirror, and knew that I looked good. I was slim and trim, and still had no gray hair. (Though I could have colored it.)

I was wondering how long it would be, before meeting someone new, (I was still ever full of hope of meeting the ‘right’ guy,) when I caught the eye, of another man from across the apartment complex; another high rise apartment owner, looking for love as I was. I smiled back at him and knew then it would not be long.

Years later, out with one of my ‘sisters’, we were talking and trying to find out why no relationship of mine ever lasts very long.

The last one I had before my current one, lasted eight months. The one I was, again, taking a break from, was a little over seven months long.

While we were out, we seen both of these men. At this point, I was just as familiar to the older one as I was to the newer one. I kissed the older one, and he asked me if I realized how long it had been since I had kissed him and hugged him. I said no. “Eight months”, he replied. I grabbed his arm and asked him to go to dinner with me and my friend. He went, cause that was the kind of guy he was; somewhat shy, with a true heart. (Like my first husband.) My friend then seen my current boyfriend, (well, at least the most recent one,) and pulled him aside and managed to cajole him into joining us. He didn’t really want to, for he was trying to ‘take a break from me,’ like we had agreed to do.

We all sat down in the restaurant, and began to talk about the problem of my relationships going nowhere. The guy who I had been with in the past, was solid and dependable, but was too staid and unexciting for me. (He was thinking of getting everyone to sign a petition in his neighborhood, to try and fix the water quality. That was as exciting as he got.) My friend, my ‘sister’ said she’d take my cast-off any day, and proceeded to hook up with him. They ended up getting married and living happily ever after.

I soon realized through this talk, that I still had a deep seated fear of loved ones leaving me, and the moment I would feel like something was not quite right, (at the first sign of a problem,) I would go ahead and leave them, just as my first husband had left me all those years ago. I would leave them before they could leave me, and before I could get any closer to them. It was just as I used to do when I was little, when I’d suddenly find out that we were moving again. I’d break it off with all my friends as soon as I heard, for I didn’t want to get any closer to them and thereby get hurt even more.

Deep down inside, I knew that I was still in love with my first husband. Like the song said, ‘I had a bad case of loving you’. But I knew that he would never take me back.

My current boyfriend and I, decided to get married and stay married. But the marriage seemed like it was always missing something. We had no children. It was in no way shape or form like my marriage to my first husband. It lacked depth. It lacked that soul bonding closeness.

It lacked God.

I woke up then, my heart pounding, realizing, that if my husband had left me, back in New York, like he almost did, I would have never really known God. Jesus would have become just a legend or a fairy tale to me, without any real substance to hold on to in times of trouble.

I also knew, without doubt, I would have ended up in hell.

After I got up, I could still hear George Palmer’s song running through my head. I quickly put on some praise and worship music, and begin praising my God at the top of my lungs, and thanking Him for keeping me and my husband together…

THANK YOU JESUS CHIRST OF NAZARETH!

(And thank you my wonderful husband, for staying married to me and being faithful to me all these years!)

*

I know these pieces of scripture can be painful, yet they are still there in the New Testament, and not something we should simply cast aside to pander to our feelings of discomfort. There are some real truths in these. I sense that they may be describing a simple unchangeable fact, and not just giving a basic ‘do not do this’ command…

Mark 10:2-12 (KJV)
And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him. And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you? And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter. And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery. (See also Matthew 19:3-12.)

Matthew 5:31-32 (KJV)
It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. (See also Luke 16:18.)

1 Corinthians 7:39
“A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.”

Romans 7:2-3 (KJV)
For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.

1 Corinthians 7:1-2, 6-16 (KJV)
Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment. For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

Hebrews 13:4
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

1 Corinthians 6:18 (KJV)
Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

Merriam-Webster defines fornication as: ‘consensual sexual intercourse between two persons not married to each other’.
*

I can understand why Jesus would say this. Divorce is painful. There is a strong bond that is made, with the first person you marry, that is not so easily broken. And fornication brings in some nasty demons. These demons are shared with each other within the marital bond. (The two have become one.) By allowing divorce from someone who can not remain faithful to their marriage, Jesus was protecting them from repeated severe demonic infestations.

Please know, I do not say these things lightly. It took a lot of persuasion from the Lord to even post this article. I know how uncomfortable it makes people. If not themselves, then everyone seems to know someone else who has gone through a divorce and then gotten remarried again.

I do know how difficult it can be, to live with an abusive spouse. I grew up watching my father physically abuse my mother. (She did not know about casting out demons.) Yet please note; even physical abuse is not given as a permissible reason to divorce your spouse. Jesus DID however, teach us to cast out any demons troubling us in His name. (If not cast out, at least bind up.) In my experience, violent demons are ALWAYS the cause of spousal abuse, and they can be removed. So, get yourself to a safe place, and then get rid of the demons but keep your spouse!

For a piece of insight on how satan can work between two people, see: https://dreamsofdunamis.wordpress.com/2012/02/10/this-is-satan-attacking-us/

The Holy Spirit has told me, that there is someone out there reading this, who is thinking of leaving (or will be thinking of leaving,) their spouse. I pray that you do not. I pray that you find a way to cast out any demons that have come between you and your spouse, and to stay close to the Holy Spirit’s leading. Shalom; He WILL bring you peace!

The Best Way To Raise A Child

Another dream…

This time I was a young woman, newly married.

My parents had raised me with simple Christian values, but they never felt the need for us to go to a church, read the bible, or pray. And that was fine with me as well, for I could see that we were doing o.k. on our own.

There were some things that I had strong beliefs in,
and one of them was how a child should be raised.

When I became a mother of a beautiful baby girl,
I spent as much time as I could with her,
Convinced that this was the way to bring them up successfully. My husband, her father, was away busy working, and did not have much time to spend with us. But every little lesson she learned, I was there beside her.

I realized, when she was around a year or so,
That I should not just give her everything she wanted,
For then she would end up a spoiled brat.

So there were times when I told her no, for example when she wanted to open a certain cupboard door, and it would be dangerous for her health and safety if she did so.

At first she cried, and showed her temper,
But soon moved on to other explorations.

She grew up to be a beautiful and caring girl, whom I loved greatly.

I had a second baby girl, when my first was almost eight, and I brought her up in the same manner as I did the first.
She also grew up to be a loving, caring, and giving girl. For this reason, she was one I was also very close to, all of my life.

I had another baby girl about five years after the last one, and began raising her up as I had the first two.
After she was a few years old, I realized, that for some reason, she was slightly less thankful for something that would be given to her, than her older sisters had been. But I brushed this off as simply being a quirk of her personality. (She was more reserved in other ways as well.) But as she reached the older teenage years, she became wild and rebellious, which would hurt me greatly.

One day, when she was almost eighteen, (and incredibly beautiful with her model slim body and gorgeous waist length blonde hair,) she stood there, in front of her bedroom doorway. I had just gotten done refinishing her bedroom to the way she had wanted it done. I asked her, how she liked it, hoping this would make her thankful, for not even her sisters had been given such a makeover for their rooms.

“Yes,” she said, “it’s great. Perfect.” But then she gave a long pause, as if she was still considering it. “Well, almost. There’s just one thing still wrong with it.”

“What is that?” I asked her, eager to make the change.

“You’re in it.”

With that, she pulled a lit cigarette from behind her back, pulled a big drag from it, and then blew the smoke right into my face.

I gasped in shock.

Pain was then my response, pain that went so very, very deep. It felt like my heart was actually breaking, and then shriveling up inside. I did not know how to cope with such pain. I was immobilized.

How could my daughter do this to me? She knew she was not to smoke at all in the house. She knew that I was very allergic to the cigarette smoke. My eyes and lungs were already beginning to swell up.

I told her that I was not leaving, for this was my house, and if she really wanted to get away from me, then she should be the one to leave. I also told her that if she left like this, I would never bother her or be a part of her life again. It would be as if she was dead to me.

I had hoped that she would back down at this, but she acted like she was quite happy with it.

She packed up her stuff, and left me with great excitement, and as I watched her leave, I noted that she didn’t even look back once.

It took some time for me to recover from what she had done. In essence, she really did become dead to me. I was also resolved to have it remain this way in the future, for I felt I could not survive another blow to my heart like that one.

Several years after my third child was born, I had another baby, also a girl, and knew it would be my last. (I was old at this time, and was quite surprised at the news, for I had thought that my child bearing years were over.) This baby was doted on by my first two girls, as well as me. But I made sure she was still brought up like the first two had been.

She turned out fine as well, thought she had a way of trying to make sure that everything and everyone in the family was doing o.k..

The third (dead) child would call and talk to her sisters, but ignore me. When my girls then went to tell me how she was doing, I told them that to me she no longer exists, and to keep their news about her to themselves, and to not talk to me about it. If they disobeyed me and talked about her, I would ignore what they said and leave the room.

I supported the first two girls in whatever they wanted to do with their lives, and when they decided to leave the nest, I gave them my full blessing, and still supported them in making their own nest, when they requested my help or my opinion. I remained close to my first two girls, and even to my youngest one.

At one point, my girls told me that their (dead) sister wanted to get in touch with me, for she was getting married and wanted me to go to her wedding. I told them no, and that I didn’t want to hear about it. I no longer knew this person they were talking about. She had been dead to me for so many years now, and would remain so.

My daughters tried to get me to change my mind, but I refused.

More years passed, and at one point, while my youngest daughter and I we were walking around in a big mall, I seen my two older daughters coming towards us, with their arms linked around their other sister, the one still dead to me.

My first thought was ‘So…she’s still alive then,’ but I quickly shifted my eyes to look away from her. Even if she had somehow survived all those years, she was still dead to me.

I could tell that my older girls had hoped for a reconciliation, and probably figured that if I could just actually see her, then I would relent. But they were wrong. I knew the statistics, I had heard the heart-wrenching accounts of the other mothers who had to deal with their wayward, wild children. These kids would say they were sorry, but still go back out and return to the crappy behavior and actions that they had before. Why would I think that my child would be any different from them? There was no way I would ever go through that kind of pain with that child again. The girl she had once been to me had died, and someone else now occupied her body.

A few years after that, my girls told me she was pregnant with her first child. “Mom, they pleaded with me, “Don’t you want to see your own grandchildren?”

“Sure,” I replied. “But that woman’s children would not be my grandchildren.”

They gave up trying to get me to go see them, when they realized I still wanted nothing to do with her.

When my own children had children of their own, I would be the doting grandmother, and shower their kids with attention and presents. Their own children were respective and loving towards me, so caring for them was easy to do and caused me no pain.

But I knew that no matter what, that other woman and her family, would remain dead to me till the day I died.

 

I then woke up from the dream, with tears on my face.

*

I wondered, as I lay there in bed, still feeling the inner pain, coldness, and fear that controlled this mother, just what was the best way to raise a child.

It was clear, that simply spending time with the child, and raising the child myself, (instead of handing them over to the overflowing nurseries and then into the public school systems,) would not prevent such wild behavior.

When I went to the Lord about it, He told me that spending the time with the child was still of primary importance, but without an intimate one-on-one relationship with HIM, there would still be problems of this kind. When a mother spends that much time with her child, the parent can sense RIGHT AWAY when something is wrong, and can then petition the problem to Me, and then cast the demon away from the child. (This is done through My Word and through prayer to Me.) But if the parent doesn’t even believe that evil spirits exist, and can try to attack their children, (or of course themselves,) then there is much less hope of fighting off satan’s attacks.

It made me realize, how important a Christian’s spiritual viewpoint is. If they do not believe in evil spirits being able to affect them, then it is almost impossible for them to see some of the person’s negative and hurtful behavior as being separate from the person themselves. One then tends to take it all personally, as an attack on them. And they also might not have much hope of real heart-felt change. What they don’t realize, is that demons can set up and execute the attacks. In this case, the attacks were (at least,) on both the mother and the daughter. But for the most part, the heart of that person themselves, is still yearning for love and reconciliation with their family. And with Jesus, hearts and behavior CAN be changed!

*

“But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.”
(Matthew 19:26, KJV)

“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction. My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother: For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck.” (Proverbs 1:7-9)

“Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right.” (Proverbs 20:11)

“Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.” (Proverbs 16:18, KJV)

“Now these are the commandments, the statutes, and the judgments, which the Lord your God commanded to teach you, that ye might do them in the land whither ye go to possess it: That thou mightest fear the Lord thy God, to keep all his statutes and his commandments, which I command thee, thou, and thy son, and thy son’s son, all the days of thy life; and that thy days may be prolonged. Hear therefore, O Israel, and observe to do it; that it may be well with thee, and that ye may increase mightily, as the Lord God of thy fathers hath promised thee, in the land that floweth with milk and honey. Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God is one Lord: And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates. (Deuteronomy 6:1-9, KJV)

“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:32, KJV)

* * * *

The Booming Voice From Above

(Seen through the eyes of one of my children…)

My whole family is gathered around the table for the evening meal. As is our custom, we each take turns thanking the Lord for something we are thankful for.  

This time, unseen to all but one child, was a row of ten demons, lined up on the other side of our kitchen countertop, listening in.
The first child said they were thankful for their new friend that they had just met.

At that, one of the demons turned to the demon next to him, and said “Hey! I know! Let’s see if we can get them to turn against each other and hate each other!”

Right as the other demons were about to chime in and agree to the plan, a booming voice from above, yelled out.

“NO!”

At this, the demons shivered and cowered in fear, but did not address the voice itself. Instead, they ignored it the best they could, and continued listening to what else we were thankful for.

Another child spoke up. “I’m thankful for the dog and this wonderful meal.”

Again the demons began to whisper amongst themselves, but were suddenly interrupted by a booming loud voice.

“NO!”

“I’m also thankful for the new internet games my friend just gave me.”

At this, one of the demons whispered something into the ear of the one next to him. What was said, was not heard.

And this time, the booming voice from above was disturbingly silent.
My husband spoke up next. “I’m thankful that the Lord has moved us up here, and that we have this house to live in.”

But at this, for some reason, it was the demons themselves that remained silent, watching.

Another one of us spoke up. “I’m thankful we still have the chickens that we do have.” (This was after several of our favorite ones suddenly dying.)

At this the demons chortled with glee and exclaimed, “Yeah! Let’s go kill off the rest of them!”

“NO!” slapped the booming voice from up above.

And again, the demons cowered, shook, and tried to hide underneath each other, but they did not look up.

Next, I spoke up. “I’m thankful for still being married to my husband, and that I was well enough to make the dinner.”

Again the demons conspired, but what they conspired was not heard. It did not matter however, for once again, that booming voice was heard from above.

“NO!”

The demons cowered and shook amongst themselves yet again.

This continued till all had spoken their thanks out loud and the prayer had ended.

Then the demons left.
*  *  *  *
Job 1
6 Now there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan came also among them. 7 And the LORD said unto Satan, Whence comest thou? Then Satan answered the LORD, and said, From going to and fro in the earth, and from walking up and down in it. 8 And the LORD said unto Satan, Hast thou considered my servant Job, that there is none like him in the earth, a perfect and an upright man, one that feareth God, and escheweth evil? 9 Then Satan answered the LORD, and said, Doth Job fear God for nought? 10 Hast not thou made an hedge about him, and about his house, and about all that he hath on every side? thou hast blessed the work of his hands, and his substance is increased in the land. 11 But put forth thine hand now, and touch all that he hath, and he will curse thee to thy face. 12 And the LORD said unto Satan, Behold, all that he hath is in thy power; only upon himself put not forth thine hand. So Satan went forth from the presence of the LORD.
Job 42
10 And the LORD turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends: also the LORD gave Job twice as much as he had before. 12 So the LORD blessed the latter end of Job more than his beginning: for he had fourteen thousand sheep, and six thousand camels, and a thousand yoke of oxen, and a thousand she asses. 13 He had also seven sons and three daughters. 16 After this lived Job an hundred and forty years, and saw his sons, and his sons’ sons, even four generations. 17 So Job died, being old and full of days.