Thinking Of Leaving Your Spouse?

I Had a dream the other night.

This was a dream, where me and my husband separated shortly after we were married.

I went to New York City, met another high fashion artist, (he could have been an actual sculptor or painter artist, I’m not sure.) We got married and stayed together for a few years, and then we separated. During this time, I became an unbeliever. After the trial separation period, we divorced.

I then went from long-term relationship to long-term relationship, each one lasting a few months to a few years. In some of the instances, I married them, and then divorced them.

I was great at matchmaking all my friends, (I had good enough friends to call them my ‘sisters’,) but wasn’t so great at it when it came to myself.

In my latest relationship, we had taken a break from each other, (Which is how my marriage to my first husband ended, by the way,) and I was in a nice upscale apartment in New York city, a high rise of some kind, close to the financial district. I was unpacking, and wondering why I always ended up by myself, and dancing around in my apartment, singing to a song called “Bad Case Of Loving You” by George Palmer, from 1979.

A hot summer night, fell like a net
I’ve gotta find my baby yet
I need you to soothe my head
Turn my blue heart to red

Doctor, doctor give me the news
I’ve got a bad case of loving you
No pill’s gonna cure my ill
I’ve got a bad case of loving you

A pretty face don’t make no pretty heart
I learned that buddy, from the start
You think I’m cute, a little bit shy
Momma, I ain’t that kind of guy

Doctor, doctor give me the news
I’ve got a bad case of loving you
No pill’s gonna cure my ill
I’ve got a bad case of loving you

Woo oohh

I know you like it, you like it on top
Tell me momma are you gonna stop

You had me down, 21 to zip
Smile of Judas on your lip
Shake my fist, knock on wood
I’ve got it bad and I’ve got it good

Doctor, doctor give me the news
I’ve got a bad case of loving you
No pill’s gonna cure my ill
I’ve got a bad case of loving you

(In the dream, when the song said ” I know you like it, you like it on top”, this was not meant to be sexual, but was instead a comment of how the person always liked to be in control and on top of things in a relationship.)

I could see my reflection in the mirror, and knew that I looked good. I was slim and trim, and still had no gray hair. (Though I could have colored it.)

I was wondering how long it would be, before meeting someone new, (I was still ever full of hope of meeting the ‘right’ guy,) when I caught the eye, of another man from across the apartment complex; another high rise apartment owner, looking for love as I was. I smiled back at him and knew then it would not be long.

Years later, out with one of my ‘sisters’, we were talking and trying to find out why no relationship of mine ever lasts very long.

The last one I had before my current one, lasted eight months. The one I was, again, taking a break from, was a little over seven months long.

While we were out, we seen both of these men. At this point, I was just as familiar to the older one as I was to the newer one. I kissed the older one, and he asked me if I realized how long it had been since I had kissed him and hugged him. I said no. “Eight months”, he replied. I grabbed his arm and asked him to go to dinner with me and my friend. He went, cause that was the kind of guy he was; somewhat shy, with a true heart. (Like my first husband.) My friend then seen my current boyfriend, (well, at least the most recent one,) and pulled him aside and managed to cajole him into joining us. He didn’t really want to, for he was trying to ‘take a break from me,’ like we had agreed to do.

We all sat down in the restaurant, and began to talk about the problem of my relationships going nowhere. The guy who I had been with in the past, was solid and dependable, but was too staid and unexciting for me. (He was thinking of getting everyone to sign a petition in his neighborhood, to try and fix the water quality. That was as exciting as he got.) My friend, my ‘sister’ said she’d take my cast-off any day, and proceeded to hook up with him. They ended up getting married and living happily ever after.

I soon realized through this talk, that I still had a deep seated fear of loved ones leaving me, and the moment I would feel like something was not quite right, (at the first sign of a problem,) I would go ahead and leave them, just as my first husband had left me all those years ago. I would leave them before they could leave me, and before I could get any closer to them. It was just as I used to do when I was little, when I’d suddenly find out that we were moving again. I’d break it off with all my friends as soon as I heard, for I didn’t want to get any closer to them and thereby get hurt even more.

Deep down inside, I knew that I was still in love with my first husband. Like the song said, ‘I had a bad case of loving you’. But I knew that he would never take me back.

My current boyfriend and I, decided to get married and stay married. But the marriage seemed like it was always missing something. We had no children. It was in no way shape or form like my marriage to my first husband. It lacked depth. It lacked that soul bonding closeness.

It lacked God.

I woke up then, my heart pounding, realizing, that if my husband had left me, back in New York, like he almost did, I would have never really known God. Jesus would have become just a legend or a fairy tale to me, without any real substance to hold on to in times of trouble.

I also knew, without doubt, I would have ended up in hell.

After I got up, I could still hear George Palmer’s song running through my head. I quickly put on some praise and worship music, and begin praising my God at the top of my lungs, and thanking Him for keeping me and my husband together…

THANK YOU JESUS CHIRST OF NAZARETH!

(And thank you my wonderful husband, for staying married to me and being faithful to me all these years!)

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I know these pieces of scripture can be painful, yet they are still there in the New Testament, and not something we should simply cast aside to pander to our feelings of discomfort. There are some real truths in these. I sense that they may be describing a simple unchangeable fact, and not just giving a basic ‘do not do this’ command…

Mark 10:2-12 (KJV)
And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him. And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you? And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter. And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery. (See also Matthew 19:3-12.)

Matthew 5:31-32 (KJV)
It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. (See also Luke 16:18.)

1 Corinthians 7:39
“A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.”

Romans 7:2-3 (KJV)
For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.

1 Corinthians 7:1-2, 6-16 (KJV)
Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment. For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

Hebrews 13:4
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

1 Corinthians 6:18 (KJV)
Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

Merriam-Webster defines fornication as: ‘consensual sexual intercourse between two persons not married to each other’.
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I can understand why Jesus would say this. Divorce is painful. There is a strong bond that is made, with the first person you marry, that is not so easily broken. And fornication brings in some nasty demons. These demons are shared with each other within the marital bond. (The two have become one.) By allowing divorce from someone who can not remain faithful to their marriage, Jesus was protecting them from repeated severe demonic infestations.

Please know, I do not say these things lightly. It took a lot of persuasion from the Lord to even post this article. I know how uncomfortable it makes people. If not themselves, then everyone seems to know someone else who has gone through a divorce and then gotten remarried again.

I do know how difficult it can be, to live with an abusive spouse. I grew up watching my father physically abuse my mother. (She did not know about casting out demons.) Yet please note; even physical abuse is not given as a permissible reason to divorce your spouse. Jesus DID however, teach us to cast out any demons troubling us in His name. (If not cast out, at least bind up.) In my experience, violent demons are ALWAYS the cause of spousal abuse, and they can be removed. So, get yourself to a safe place, and then get rid of the demons but keep your spouse!

For a piece of insight on how satan can work between two people, see: https://dreamsofdunamis.wordpress.com/2012/02/10/this-is-satan-attacking-us/

The Holy Spirit has told me, that there is someone out there reading this, who is thinking of leaving (or will be thinking of leaving,) their spouse. I pray that you do not. I pray that you find a way to cast out any demons that have come between you and your spouse, and to stay close to the Holy Spirit’s leading. Shalom; He WILL bring you peace!

Something Of Good Report

Something else happened during our vacation, something of good report that I would like to share with you. It happened in Morro Bay, California.

I was struggling to carry my purse, with all the water bottles in it, (enough for all of us to use for lunch,) so I had my kids take turns in helping me to carry it while we walked amongst the ocean front shops in Morro Bay. Normally I make sure to carry my own purse, for I usually feel somehow bereft without it.

When we came to the restaurant where we were to have lunch, the kids took their water out, and I went back to carrying it myself.

There were long lines to use the lady’s room, and as I stood in line waiting, I got to know a few of them who were nearest to me. We talked about general things, mostly about Morro Bay and how each of our days were going there. After I used the lady’s room, I went back out to where my family was still in line to order. We waited a while, till it was finally our turn to order. We ordered, and sat down to wait for the food. When it came up, and was brought back to our table, I suddenly realized that my purse was missing.

I quickly asked my kids and husband, but they did not have it either.

I knew then that I had left it somewhere.

I went back to the line at the lady’s bathrooms, and asked those who were next in line, if they could check for me if they had seen it in there. They answered me with a no. No one had seen it.

Do you know what it is like, to suddenly know that your whole life that was in your purse, is simply gone? It wasn’t the loss of cash that bothered me, (I only had fifteen dollars in it,) but it was the thought of having to cancel my three bank cards, re-apply for a driver’s license, somehow manage to order and re-pay for the three prescription eye glasses that had I kept in it, and of course having to deal with the loss of my cell phone. Then there was the concern that someone would steal my identity and write out checks from my check book.

As I stood there on the busy restaurant’s patio, I looked all around me, at all the faces of those who were eating there, and I suddenly struggled just to breathe.

“Oh Jesus!” I exclaimed under my breath. “Please help me!”
(I was thinking in terms of being able to breathe and not to pass out, but in the end the Lord helped me even beyond those immediate concerns.)

One of the workers there, had overheard me asking others about the missing purse, and he came up to me, and told me to check up front to see if it was in their lost and found.

I went up to ask them, but they did not have it. They told me to ask those at the next store, just in case.

When I asked them, they let me know that they had a purse given to them not too long ago, and they were just about to call out over their intercom system my name, in an effort to reach the owner of it.

They were reluctant to hand it over to me, and asked me for identification, to prove I was who I said I was. But all my identification was in my purse. (Sadly, my driver’s license photo has me with my hair down and all fuzzy, and not up in a pony tail as I wore on that day. So the likeness was not immediate to see.) Finally, I had given them so many other pieces of information about what was in the purse, that they came to believe that it really was mine, and so they returned it to me.

As I walked back to the place where our food was, I seen two ladies sitting there at another nearby table, no longer eating, but simply watching. One of them said to the other with great excitement: “See? That is her! She got it back!”

I walked up to them, and asked them if they were the ones who had found it and turned it in to that store.

They said yes, and then the one who had found it began to tell of how she found it in the lady’s room, and couldn’t find me to return it to me, and how she wasn’t really sure of what I exactly looked like. (She remembered me with my jacket on, but I had taken it off to eat.) She was concerned that I would think that she had gone through my purse, so she just handed it over to the restaurant, who brought it to the other shop. (Apparently the shops are owned by the same person.)
I then asked her if I could give her a hug, of which she returned somewhat reluctantly. But I sensed somehow, that she was spiritually clean, and therefore o.k. to hug. I heard her then tell me that the Lord told her what to do with it, for it had happened to her many times before in her life. “That’s why I don’t carry purses anymore!,” she exclaimed to me. I excitedly asked her “You ARE a believer, aren’t you!” She gave a startled nod of agreement, and I motioned to her to give me a high-five, which she reluctantly did. At this point, I realized that she must not be too comfortable with my displays of emotion, and was probably older than I was. Her friend had all gray hair, but hers was a solid brown color. (Mine is just beginning to get streaks in it.) I figured she must have colored her hair to conceal her age. (It worked!) So I thanked her profusely several times, blessed her even more times in the name of Jesus, before leaving.

After they had left, I suddenly realized that I had forgot to offer her a monetary reward. Twice before I had lost my purse, and each time it was returned to me, I would give the finder a few twenties, as a way of thanking them. But this time, I did not have that cash to offer. Just the fifteen dollars, which seemed to be a pittance in return to what she had done for me.

“Oh Lord!” I said under my breath, “I sure wished I could have offered her a monetary reward!”

But the Lord responded to me immediately. “No Ma Petite. She would have been insulted.”

I was shocked at this. “Really? She would have?”

“Yes.”

So I sat there, and wondered what else I could do for her. Then I figured that being a believer, prayers would be the logical answer. I could do that for her instead.

So several times, during the trip, and even to this day, whenever I feel my purse, or think of her good work that she did in Jesus name, I give thanks to God for her, and I then ask the Lord to please bless her and her friend greatly, and answer whatever prayers that they are petitioning Him for. Whatever that is on their heart, whatever they desire, may the Lord give it to them with overflowing abundance! I ask this in the name of Jesus! I sensed that their need was not monetary, but was more for a loved ones salvation. Whatever it is, I ask the Lord to please grant it to them on my behalf.

For “…if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.” (Matthew 18:19 ESV)

Thank you Jesus for answering my prayers!

Even more than the return of my purse, I greatly appreciated the meeting of another believer. After surviving the stronghold of San Luis Obispo, just knowing that there was another believer near by, and being able to worship the Lord together with them, was a gem in and of itself!

Thank you sisters, where ever you are now. Your good deed in His name will not be forgotten. Indeed, I still give glory to the Father, for what He did in you both on that day!

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Matthew 5:16 (KJV)
“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”

John 14:13-14 (KJV)
“And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it.”

John 16:23-24 (ESV)
“…Truly, truly, I say to you, whatever you ask of the Father in my name, He will give it to you. Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full.”

John 15:16 (ESV)
“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.”

John 15:7 (ESV)
“If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.”

James 1:5-6 (ESV)
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.”

1 John 3:22 (ESV)
“and whatever we ask we receive from him, because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him.”

1 John 5:14-15 (CJB)
“This is the confidence we have in his presence: if we ask anything that accords with his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us — whatever we ask — then we know that we have what we have asked from him.”

Hebrews 13:21 (NLT)
“may he equip you with all you need for doing his will. May he produce in you, through the power of Jesus Christ, every good thing that is pleasing to him. All glory to him forever and ever! Amen.”

I Tim. 5:22, Lay hands suddenly on no man, neither be partaker of other men’s sins; keep thyself pure.

Philippians 4:8 (KJV)
“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”
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