Find Him Next To Me

Another dream…

In this dream,
I was a young, beautiful woman.
I knew I was beautiful, for everyone kept telling me so.
I was one of those rare ones, who had only needed the addition of braces at age twelve, to become quite beautiful.
No other addition to my body was needed.
I had full, slightly wavy dark hair, down to my waist,
And was often told that I looked like Kim Kardashian.

I was in a big house, with a big party going on, with many beautiful people in attendance that I knew.

These were the ones that everyone else wanted to be,
The Hollywood types with lots of money and style.

People had come to this party, looking for their pleasures.

I was looking for my boyfriend.

I was looking forward to being with him again, for I had been away from him for three long days on business,
And missed his touch and companionship.
I was living with him,
In the hopes that he was ‘The One’
That would be faithful to me.

But as I searched for him through out all the bedrooms of this mansion, I discovered him in one, in bed with another man.

I Cried out to him,
“You just couldn’t wait a weekend for me to return, could you? What happened? I know it isn’t because I didn’t pleasure you enough!”

The guy tried to defend himself to me,
Denying to me that he was even having relations with the man, but that was of no use, for I had caught them in the act itself.

So I went out into main room, thoroughly disgusted with what I had just seen.

Others were there, again seeking their pleasures, with drugs of all kinds. And a few others that were there were still working.

But I realized that we were all there in this house,
Taking shelter from some kind of outside destruction that was expected to reign down upon the people.

One woman was there taking care of her ward,(doing her job) and was still going by her strictly scripted curriculum, in what to do next for her student. She had gone into the fridge and made some kind of food, (as it had fit into the curriculum,) but they had not eaten it all and had told no one else about it, and instead they had left it out to spoil. I found it, and berated them for it. (Couldn’t they have shared it with the others? What a waste!)

Just then a good friend of mine came into the room, and she asked me why I was not with my boyfriend. I told her we had just broken up. I told her that this did not mean that I was going to give up in my search for the right one. Indeed, I was still even more determined to find him.

Her eyes alighted, and she told me she had not given up either. She reached out to me and then tried to lay down in my lap. Then I suddenly realized that she was talking about me! She desired me as her mate! I told her that I was only interested in males, not females, and she then pleaded with me, to at least let her TRY to pleasure me. “You could close your eyes and pretend if you wanted,” she exclaimed to me.

I sensed from deep within me, that this was not right. Why should we have to settle for less? I asked her why she now desires women and not men, (for she had before professed to desire only men,) and she points out into the room, and exclaims, “just look at them! They mistreat women terribly! They can’t even be loyal to one for even a few hours! But women, they are able to remain loyal to another for a longer period of time. you, I know that you would be loyal. I have watched you for a long, long time. I know you. You would not leave me.” I looked down into her pleading eyes and told her no, and that she too should wait for the one who will love her as she needed to be loved, and that she should not give up looking for him.

Just then, I heard a bomb go off in the distance, with people outside screaming.

No one inside the house responded to it. No one cared. They were intent on living as if there was no tomorrow. With grief, I knew then that they might just keep on doing what they were doing until they died.

Then I heard a song in the background, called “Next To Me,” by Emeli Sande. It made my heart ache terribly, for this song was describing the kind of guy that I so deeply desired. One who didn’t seek out the parties, drugs, money or fame. One who would be faithful to me, no matter what.

As I listened to the lyrics, I suddenly remembered, hearing from somewhere, that there was one, whom a group of people believed in, that would love you and never leave you.

The Christians, the believers. They believed in Jesus.

Many of them had found what they were looking for in Him.

As the song finished playing in the background,
I realized that this was what I was going to try next. Perhaps there really was something to those who believed in their God Jesus. Perhaps this Jesus could help me find a mate who would be faithful to me. Perhaps then, this loneliness from deep within me, would be assuaged.

As I left the party, I tried to tell those who would listen, that they didn’t have to settle for second best, and that they could have the true love they were looking for.

But they were too involved in seeking their pleasures, and in continuing on with their daily assignments, to take any notice. Even the girl who had proclaimed to secretly love me, was shaking her head no, and looking at me as if I had finally lost it.

So I left the party, in search of this Christian God named Jesus.

I then woke up to the song slowly,
As I heard that voice inside say in time to the final refrain:

“So if you want a mate like this one that is faithful,
And who’ll be there for you in these darker days,
Just know that you won’t find him where the rest go
You will find him
You’ll find him next to Me…”

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To hear the song and view the lyrics, go to:

Or to watch the solo music video, go to:

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I am here today to personally testify
That I was once like this woman, looking for one who would be faithful to me in thick or thin. I had some beauty, I had some money, and I even had some fame. But I was still empty inside, no matter what I did. And I was married to a man who was held bound to his liquor, his career, and his pride.

But a neighbor seen how empty I was inside,
And she told me about the Jesus she knew,
(this one sounded so different from the distant Roman Catholic one I had been brought up to serve,)
And so I soon decided to reach out to Him,
To see if He could help me
To find that true love that I was searching for.

I found it in Him,
In a way that I can still barely describe today.
I not only found that elusive true love with a man that is described in love stories, I also found in Jesus a true best friend who deeply loves me and is always with me,
And who guides me into blessings and good things.
When I placed my whole life in His hands,
When I made my whole purpose in living to simply know Him more and more,
When I spoke to Him as if He was right there beside me,
THEN,
Is when He gave me my heart’s desire;
To love a man who loved me no matter what.
For me it was not instantaneous,
But happened slowly over time.
My true love was the same body
That had been pledged to me years ago.
But now he was different. His family came before work. He no longer drank or scorned me. He had changed. He had accepted me for who I was, faults and all.
He had become that ‘new creation’ that the scriptures tell us of. He shows me true love beyond my wildest dreams.
I see Jesus in him daily, and marvel at his love for me and our children. He loves me almost like Jesus does, with faithfulness, longsuffering, patience, kindness, goodness, self-control, and gentleness.
Now we grow old together, and as our physical beauty fades,
We focus on each other’s beauty from within.

NEVER EVER have I ever regretted,
Giving my life up to Christ!
(Or remaining married to my wonderful husband!)

I am testifying;
You don’t always have to leave the one you’re with;
To find your true love.
I believe it is possible for The Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth
to change the one you love,
And make him (or her) this ‘new creation in Christ’.
So if you believe that your loved one has been called by God, then persevere and keep that faith.
It may take much P.U.S.H. prayers (Praying Until Something Happens,) and casting out of demons, but happen it will.

You only must believe.

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“Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4, NIV

“Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.”
1 Corinthians 6:9-10 ESV

“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?” Hebrews 13:4-6 ESV

“To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.”
1 Corinthians 7:10-11 ESV

And Peter said to them, “Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. For the promise is for you and for your children and for all who are far off, everyone whom the Lord our God calls to himself.” Acts 2:38-39 ESV

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23 (KJV)

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17 ESV

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Fight For Him On The Battlefield

A dream…

I am in a place that is reminiscent of a day care center, where you drop off your child for the day, and then pick them up after work. I am standing in the entrance way, with the check in booth to the left, and an inner foyer behind that. There is another doorway behind this to the right, where I sensed their charges were kept. This doorway did not have the usual door, but instead had a curtain of translucent multi-colored and multi-faceted beads to mark the entrance to that room.

The place is very dark and somber, despite the one good-sized window in the back. It was a place that I would normally not go to, for I knew that it was an unclean place. But I had been sent there, to deliver a message to the people. I had come to help set the captives free.

Just then, I seen a short robed figure come out of the back room. The beads barely wavered behind her, as she glided out smoothly and came to a stop before the entrance way. She took no human steps as such, but seemed to float  forward in one long smooth movement. The front of her gown parted in a small wave, revealing the luxurious deep purple velvet beneath it. Her hands looked to be holding on to her elbows beneath the robe, giving the front of her a perfectly square silhouette, as no hands or fingertips were seen. The ends of her sleeves met one another in the center directly over her chest. She stood there and paused. Her hooded robe was made of smooth black satin, and I could tell that the whole length of it was completely lined in that purple velvet.

I could just barely make out her face peaking out from the hood. It was so dark where she stood, that it was hard to make out much of her features. But I could tell she was definitely human and quite petite, almost dainty in her bone structure, and that she was very very feminine.

She then began to speak softly, her words at first sounding melodious and lilting.

“I am a celestial being” she tells me, “from the…” (blah blah blah,) – at this point I could not even understand what she was saying, it was as if the Lord Himself had stepped in and muffled that sound from me in order to protect me, but then I could just make out the words- “astral plane of higher consciousness…”

I felt her spell of words, sounding so beautiful to the ears, yet her breath reeked from the curses and death beneath it.

The woman would have continued on with her spell, but I would not stand for it any longer. So I stood there in the foyer, moved my feet apart so that they were firmly planted upon the ground, and then gave her my response.

“NO! You are not! You are a Satanist! Your power comes straight from the pit of hell!”

Upon hearing this, the robed feminine satanist melts and dissolves into nothingness.

Then the earth beneath my feet began to shake, and I knew then that it was a great earthquake.

Things fell from the walls, and plaster began to fall in large chunks from the ceiling. I knew they were trying to scare me off, but I stood my ground! I cast them out in the name of Jesus, and told them to go back to the pit from whence they came.

Great rolls and waves of hideous demons rushed at me, snapping, clawing, biting, attacking, but still I somehow stood my ground.

Then the earthquake stopped.

I said, “I will not leave! I have come to set the captives FREE!”

At the word ‘free’, I felt an answering earthquake coming from MY God. This quake was way more powerful than the previous one, and it affected the demons far more than it did me. I simply held on and continued to stand there unmoved, but the demons were being shaken from their foundations and their rafters and the walls from where they were covertly hanging, and once they were exposed, they were quickly sucked downwards, disappearing beneath the floor.

I continued speaking. “I am a much beloved daughter of the Most High! My Righteous King will send an ARMY of His angels to protect me! How then can ANY evil overtake me! I am sheltered under His wings! They shelter me! He rescues me from EVERY trap! His faithful promises are MY ARMOR!” I then added on in a whisper that seemed to oddly hit them even harder than any previous words I had yet spoken, “I will not fear YOU…”

I continued to cast out those that still remained. The demons tried to rush at me again to startle and scare me, this time in an effort to get me to forget the Word of God. But I was able to remember enough scripture well enough, to fight them off.

I then woke up, and then realized that I was still fighting them off in my bedroom!

But then I spoke something out loud that surprised me. And once it left my lips, I knew without a doubt in my heart that it was true. What its meaning was I did not yet know, but I knew it to be His truth. I sensed it was some kind of  weapon against them. So I said it again, this time almost shouting it back at them.

“I am a belaying pin for the Lord!”

I felt a rush of strength come into my body, allowing me to continue to fight them with unwavering tenacity.

I also realized with sudden clarity, why this attack had been made against me. Satanist wanted to stop me from posting on this blog. They wanted to make my purpose vain, to break my bonds with Christ, to cut off all hope from me, and to drive me to a place where their god satan could destroy me.

I straightened myself up to my full height, planted my feet apart once again upon my bedroom floor, and firmly continued to speak out loud.

“I WILL NOT STOP from posting on my blog! This attacking coven of witches will fall and not stand! I claim that whatever evil they send to us is returned to them ten fold! The Word of God will prevail, along with His servants. The captives will be set FREE!”

After I said this, I cast out the satanist(s) who had invaded my bedroom and my sleep, and cut their silver cords and lay lines.

Their shadows and presence all then dissolved into nothingness like smoke on a windy day.

Calling forth a host of angels to protect me and my family, I pleaded the blood of Jesus over us all.

I then felt the strong comforting breath of His army all around me. I lifted up a glass of water to the ceiling in a toast, and said “To The Lord God Of All! All praise be to Jesus Christ of Nazareth!” I exclaimed.

“YES!”, the angels replied all together in one mighty shout , lifting their arms up to heaven along with me.

I basked in the light of these angels, as they stood around me in my little room, smiling at me, encouraging me, and patting me on the back for hanging in there. They kept telling me that I was indeed a belaying pin for the Lord, and to never give up in the fight against the evil one.

It was several hours before their presence completely faded, but their hope and encouragement in me as that worthy belaying pin for our Lord lingered in my spirit for many days.

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I had heard of a belaying pin before, but I could not quite remember where. I thought it might be a pin of sorts to a grenade or something, but that made no sense to me. Then the Holy Spirit told me to go look it up. What I found made me smile.

For as long as I can remember, I have always struggled to be able to memorize things. From multiplication tables as a small child, to the memorization of life-giving scriptures, I struggled where to others it would come naturally. The bible refers to the Word as a sword one would use to fight off the evil one. I had so very often felt sub-par or unusable by my God because of this, as if I was somehow only half prepared to fight for Him on the battlefield.

When I looked up the definition of ‘belaying pin’, I found that it had been mostly used on the larger sailing ships, to help hold the sails in their place. However, when invaders tried to come aboard the ship, the sailors who had no sword next to them at that moment, would quickly remove a belaying pin from the wall and use it like a sword to fight off the enemy. A straight good-sized short stick with a handle made of either hardwood or brass, it was a blunt instrument without finesse, but it served both its purposes well.

Isn’t that sweet of Him? He can still find a use for me, even with my limitations.

I share this testimony with you, despite it being of a more personal nature, in the hopes that it too, will inspire you to still keep fighting the good fight, even though it may feel at times like you are not enough, or may even feel broken in some way. Our God is so VERY mighty, that He can use whatever we are for His glory, His people, His honor, and His kingdom!

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“Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life…”
(1 Timothy 6:12)

“The Lord is righteous; He has cut in two the cords of the wicked.” (Psalm 129:4)

“Let me not be put to shame, O Lord, for I call upon Thee; Let the wicked be put to shame, let them be silent in Sheol. Let the lying lips be dumb, Which speak arrogantly against the righteous with pride and contempt.” (Psalm 31:17-18)

“Behold, I have given you authority to tread upon serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall injure you.” (Luke 10:19)

“And the God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet.” (Romans 16:20)

“For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)” (2 Corinthians 10:3-4)

“The one who practices sin is of the devil; for the devil has sinned from the beginning. The Son of God appeared for this purpose, that He might destroy the works of the devil.” (1 John 3:8)

“You are from God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world.” (1 John 4:4)

“…He which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 1:6)

“I will love thee, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower. I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from mine enemies.”
(Psalm 18:1-3)

“In my distress I called upon the Lord, and cried unto my God: he heard my voice out of his temple, and my cry came before him, even into his ears. Then the earth shook and trembled; the foundations also of the hills moved and were shaken, because he was wroth. He bowed the heavens also, and came down: and darkness was under his feet.”
(Psalm 18:6-7, 9)

“As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the Lord is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust in him. For who is God save the Lord? or who is a rock save our God?”
(Psalm 18:30-31)

“The Lord liveth; and blessed be my rock; and let the God of my salvation be exalted. He delivereth me from mine enemies: yea, thou liftest me up above those that rise up against me: thou hast delivered me from the violent man. Therefore will I give thanks unto thee, O Lord, among the heathen, and sing praises unto thy name.”
(psalm 18:46, 48-49)

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