Reliving Old Grief

 

I dreamed of my mother again,
And of my grandmother.

I was back in my old childhood house, living out of a suitcase,
And having to face my mother’s death again.

My uncle was also there with me;
I sensed that he had been sent there to help me recover from my mother’s death, and was praying for me.

I kept wandering around the house looking for something familiar,
Something of comfort, but could find nothing.

I kept a blanket around me (I was only in my undergarments
Underneath,) and thought to get dressed, but even the clothes in my suitcase
Were unfamiliar.

I seen the odd collections of ceramics and plates that were still unfinished, (she liked to make them,) but they were things I had not seen before.

I sensed it was time to give them away.

I kept crying, the grief overwhelming me
Consuming from the inside out.

I tried to go through the closet to the other side of the house
Like I used to when I was young, but it had long been blocked off.

“I miss you so much mother!” I exclaimed to the closet wall.
“And I miss you too, grandma & grandpa!”

“But I miss my mama most of all!”

No matter how hard I tried,
I just kept crying.

I then woke up.

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When I awoke,
I kept hearing the tune of a song, (a top 40 song,) that keeps repeating itself:
“I keep bleeding…Keep keep bleeding…love…I get cut up inside…”

I looked up the date of when my mother died.

Several years ago this Thursday.

Figures.
Maybe that’s why I dreamed of her again.

“That,” I felt God reply,
“and the tulips that are sitting on top of your kitchen counter,
Constantly reminding you of your grandmother.
They help too.”

I thought of my mother and how she lived in the same house as her parents,
And wondered how she coped with all the memories of her parents
Constantly surrounding her.

My heart remained heavy though,
As I relived the grief from my mother’s death.

“This is an attack from satan, Ma Petite,” my God replied.

“A dream of my mother?” I was a little confused of this.
“What’s wrong with having a dream of my mom?”

“This dream, brought you grief, pain, and loneliness, all over again.
Which kingdom is better served, bringing you that?”

True; it was hard to continue on with life when you’re struck down again with that ‘death grief’. Yes, reliving old grief definitely was an attack from satan….

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Matthew 6:34 KJV “Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.”

Psalm 23:1-6 (KJV) “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.”

John 14:27 (KJV) “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”

 

House Of The Rising Sun

I will need your help with this one dear Christian reader. Is there anyone out there who has been given the gift of interpretation?

For at least the past two weeks, I have awoken to this song playing in my head. This has not been pleasant for me, for it is a song I have detested since I was a young child. It seemed so depressing for me to hear, even back then.

But now, to keep hearing it over and over again in my mind, even during the day, well, it started to trouble me.

Finally, when I went to the Lord about it, and asked Him why He was having me awake to this song over and over again, His response was “Well, when are you going to post it on the web site?”

I already knew it was not a message for me or my family in particular, but was instead a message for America in general. But I had no idea what the message was in the song’s lyrics. So I replied, “But Lord! I don’t even know what it all means!”

“You don’t need to,” He replied back to me. “I will give the interpretation to others; they will know what it means. Go ahead. Put it forth.”

So, I share this with you, in the hopes that someone out there will have the interpretation of this song, in relation to America and its people, and to the rest of the world.

The video:

The lyrics:

There is a house in New Orleans
They call the Rising Sun
And it’s been the ruin of many a poor boy
And God I know I’m one

My mother was a tailor
Sewed my new blue jeans
My father was a gamblin’ man
Down in New Orleans

Now the only thing a gambler needs
Is a suitcase and trunk
And the only time he’s satisfied
Is when he’s on a drunk

Oh mother tell your children
Not to do what I have done
Spend your lives in sin and misery
In the House of the Rising Sun

Well, I got one foot on the platform
The other foot on the train
I’m goin’ back to New Orleans
To wear that ball and chain

Well, there is a house in New Orleans
They call the Rising Sun
And it’s been the ruin of many a poor boy
And God I know I’m one

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The original version of the song, which is a bit different from the popular version, is listed here:
http://www.risingsunbnb.com/the-song

For some history on the song:
http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=439

The Lord told me that the name of the band is to be considered, (The Animals,) as well as their original video, where they walk around the stage, almost as if they are trying to represent the inevitability of the path of life. (It kind of reminded me of the stations of the cross, but that just might be my Catholic past showing.) In the background of their video, there are these white posts, that almost look like street posts, or even sides of buildings, possibly representing different paths that they could have chosen. Even the coloring of the background, and what they are wearing is to be considered.

The logical side of me has a few ideas for the interpretation, but they are from me, and not necessarily from the Lord, so I will not share them yet. I am really hoping that the Lord will give the interpretation to someone else who reads this, and they will post a response.

May the blood of Jesus Christ cover you dear reader,
C. Dunamis

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